Sunday, April 09, 2006

On America: 5 Likes, 5 Dislikes

I have been back in the US two weeks now, and I have had four parking tickets issued, including two in the span of an hour and a half, and the last one on a Monday morning, right in front of my house--because I didn't move the car for street cleaning. At this rate, I will be penniless in a year. As if that isn't bad enough, I locked my sorry ass out my car, and had to pay some stranger (okay, a locksmith) close to 200 bucks to break into my car for me.

Now that I poured me heart out, laddies, its time for lighter matters. I have been in the US for close to three years now. Understandably, I have formed some likes and dislikes during my stay here. I list them here.

5 things I like about America

  1. Free speech: The President of the US is mocked almost routinely by the people, without fear of retribution (and with good reason, in my opinion). In North Korea, you could get killed for farting in the general direction of Kim Jong-il (or whatever the fuck his name is). These days, this fundamental right is being eroded in various fashions, but by and large, this country is still pretty "free".

  2. Innovation: It took me a while to get used to the "can-do" attitude of Americans. I have never seen a people as practical as the Americans. Not the dull theory of books for the American, but rather, a box of tools with which to build cars, cities, and highways.

  3. Great TV shows: The Sopranos (HBO), Deadwood (HBO), The Wire (HBO) and The West Wing (NBC). If you want non-sensational yet engaging, nuanced TV, watch these shows for endless hours of TV bliss.

  4. Apple Computer: I <3 Mac. Thoughtful design, willingness to take risks, innovation, and superb aesthetics are hallmarks of my favorite computer maker. Or, should I say media giant now?

  5. New York City: An ode to the Big Apple is a post by itself, but suffice it to say that I like everything about it. Listen to Frank Sinatra's version of "New York, New York".

  6. Mary-Louise Parker: The Counting Crows wrote "Butterfly in Reverse" for this woman. I am currently Head Priest of the Church of Mary-Louise. Her performance as Amy Gardner in West Wing is one of the most thoughtful, intelligent portrayals of any woman on screen, in my humble opinion. Strike that, I am pretty darn sure it is.
I know that's six things I like about America, but so what? Sue me.

Bonus: 50 Cent, Slate Magazine, Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Connelly, and mutant army dolphins with frickin' lasers attached to their head.

5 Things I dislike about America

  1. US foreign policy: Vietnam is still Communist (Not that that is a bad thing; I only seek to indicate the futility of US intervention in that country). So is North Korea. Iraq has been shocked and awed out of existence, almost (33,814 civilian deaths, and counting). Parts of Afghanistan are slowly sliding into Taliban control. Fidel Castro is still around, while 8 US Presidents have come and gone.

  2. Dick Cheney (and company): In my opinion, Vice President Dick Cheney is the face of evil. The man exudes nastiness. Not only is the man evil, he enjoys being so. After Cheney shot him, his hunting partner apologized to Cheney for his troubles with the media. I almost expected Cheney to say, "It was the right thing to do". I wonder if that guy's human.

  3. Fads: The excessive obsession with pill popping, health foods, yoga, tai-chi, and countless others I haven't even heard of. I made my clear my opinion on one of these fads in another post. Can't sleep? Can't shit? Have a hangover? Can't get it on? Pop a pill, man. I am sick of people calculating how many calories, carbs, vitamins and protiens their dish contains. Everything I see in stores is advertised to be organic, low-cal and low-carb. Why then, is it that Americans are the most obese people in the world?

  4. Microsoft. Period.

  5. The lack of fresh fruit juice: In Bangalore, on pretty much every street corner, and in most restaurants, you can find shops that sell fresh fruit juice. And by that, I mean its made right in front of you. Here, "fresh" juice is at least a week old. I concede its refrigerated, etc. But its simply not the same.


Bonus: Fox News, Jesus-freaks, RIAA, MPAA, baseball, Hummers, campy cinema from Hollywood.

Now that I have dissed the Veep, can I expect some FBI thugs on my ass again?

1 comment:

llessica said...

Hmm..I agree somewhat, and disagree somewhat.