Eulogy for Dave Chappelle

Tuesday was a sad, sad day. I read somewhere that Dave Chappelle might never again work his show on Comedy Central again. Charlie Murphy, co-star on that phenomenally brilliant show said so in an interview. Well, fuck you, Charlie - for bringing me that piece of news. I was devastated. Since then, I have fallen into a kind of gentle, private depression. I guess its going to be just reruns for me, then. Well, there's always another viewing of the Popcopy episode, or the Black Bush episode.

Have you watched that Mind of Mencia show on CC? Some people I know seem to think its great, but to me it seemed just crude, mediocre and lackluster. The Chappelle show was crude as well (e.g., the mudbutt episode, or that one, where Dave, as R Kelly, splashed doo doo around from a can), but it was almost always clever, and always funny. Inspired and incisive satire. No such thing with Mencia.

In other news, after three months of trying out Netflix, I unsubscribed -- a little unsatisfied with them. Not that you really care why, but read on anyway, motherfuckers:

• The Netflix choke-hold: Initially, they were all over themselves to ship their DVD's -- movies at my door next day. For a whole month. After that, it was like someone choked their distribution. One movie actually took a week to ship.
  
• Having a completely inflexible missing DVD system: When a DVD they shipped didn't arrive at my place, I reported this to them. What happens next? They place it on a 'missing list'; two more such missing items, and my account is toast! That is bullshit, because I was penalized for something I had no control over.
  

Something else is bothering me. News articles about completely obvious findings from studies. Like:

• Youth who repeatedly watch filmstars smoke are three times more likely to pick up smoking than youth who don't. Oh shit! Really? Thanks for clearing that up. Couldn't have figured that one out.
  
• Hurricanes Have Gotten Stronger and Faster In the Last Decade. This completely startling discovery was reported in the respected journal Science. Scientists attribute it to increasing global warming. But they are not completely sure. I, for one, will keep my ears tuned for more news on this front.
  

Looking at these reports, I am tempted to add a few of my own scientific-sounding 'findings':

• 'Insert-your-favorite-endangered-species-here' Closer to Extinction, New Study Finds. Scientists Suspect Deforestation.
  
• World Population Set to Increase in 2006, Scientists Find.
  

Fuck you all. And, peace.

Katrina! Show me your titties!

So, Katrina happened. After that title (did you get it? I know its not in good taste, but heck, its funny!), I guess it is a bit pointless for me to say how horrified I am at the surrealness of the whole situation. Five days ago, it was just another hurricane with a pretty-girl name blowing in from the forever-choppy Atlantic. Now, it is the biggest natural disaster to hit the South in a long time.

I couldn't help but notice that the majority of the people affected were poor. And black. I also couldn't help but notice that for the first three or four days, the news networks on cable (CNN, Fox, MSNBC) carefully avoided mentioning that fact and acted color-blind. In today's PC world, news anchors are probably afraid of slipping up and doing a Campanis¹ that could end their career. But ignoring that fact completely is akin to not acknowledging the proverbial elephant in the room. And the longer you stay in said room, the harder it becomes to miss said elephant.

Apparently, Wolf Blitzer, over at CNN, found it impossible to miss the elephant. Quoting him,

... as Jack Cafferty just pointed out, so tragically, so many of these people, almost all of them that we see, are so poor and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold.

What do you mean, Wolf..? Like, not Prince black, but Charlie Murphy black? Its like Blitzer not only decided to acknowledge the elephant, but proceeded to beat it with sticks.

¹ Al Campanis, who was at one time, the GM of the LA Dodgers, went on Nightline in 1987, and educated Ted Koppel on the absence of blacks at the higher echelons of executive-dom. According to him, blacks might not have "some of the necessities" it takes to manage a major league team or a similar high-powered position, for the same reason that they aren't "good swimmers". The reason: they "lack buoyancy". His tenure as the GM of the Dodgers ended immediately afterwards.