The Flight to Goa

I went to Goa for a vacation when I was in India. A huge family, probably Assamese (I heard one of them call another Talukdar), also got on the Indian airlines flight. I immediately sensed this family would create a spectacle. It was probably their first time on a plane, and they intended to make an event out of it. Their assigned seats were scattered around the plane, and in an effort to rectify that, the head of the family (whom I will call Chief,) started asking the other passengers, loudly, to "adjust" and move to other seats. Of course, not everyone obliged; I was one of them. I was not going to give up my window seat to anyone, certainly not to obnoxious Chief. This led to louder condemnations in Assamese by other members of the family. Chief Talukdar, in fact, finally sat down two seats away from me.

I thought the family had settled after about five minutes, when I suddenly heard loud conversations break out all around. This family was not going to let a few rows of seats come in the way of the conversations they had going when they boarded. Children sitting ten rows away from each other were conversing. Aloud. Older men and women kept up a din across many rows. Chief is apparently a funny man, for every sentence of his brought forth guffaws from his kin spread strategically around the plane. So much for a surround sound experience.

And then, the plane took off. The entire family, from all around the plane, craned over their seats to get a better look of Bangalore falling away beneath them. As the plane rose higher, their exultations got louder, and reached a climax when the seat belt signs went off. Half of the family got up from their seats and started walking the aisles toward the other half. No longer bound by the (insignificant) constraint of having to sit rows away from each other, the conversation changed to a steady drone.

When the hapless flight attendants started serving snacks, everyone went back to their seats, and there was a thankful moment of silence: the family was going to eat. But soon afterwards, there was a lot of loud smacking of lips. I saw Chief lick his fingers to his satisfaction, and then wash his hands with water in the plate. I was completely rocked. Afterward, his brushy moustache still had crusts of food sticking on his face. When he went to sleep in no time, his moustache and the food crumbs gently waved about, as he snored.

That Instruction Permit

While I am at it, I still haven't gotten an instruction permit from the DMV. I must confess however, that this is out of my own inaction (wait, no. I "have been very busy"), than due to the inefficiencies of an archaic system. I hope to get it tomorrow (snicker... snicker...).

I pledged to myself to keep this thing better updated. But, as I said before - I have been too busy. Damn, I suck!

Interviewing at MS

Okay, wow... this is after a long time. A lot of water under the bridge. But before they slip out of my mind, let me post some questions I was asked in my screening interview (by phone) with someone from Microsoft. Yes, I sold out. If Microsoft offers me a job, I will take it with both hands.

Without further ado:

Why do you want to join Microsoft? I was kinda expecting this question, and I had a weak answer prepared. But still, this was the first question she threw at me; she virtually threw it at me. As I said, I was not too happy blathering my weak response. Not the start I was expecting.

What are your top three areas of expertise in software? Mmm... again, stock question, stock answer.

What programming languages do you know well? C, C++. Like an idiot, I tried to say I know Java, Scheme, ML - she brushed them all away, "We don't do those". Right. I forgot - I was decaying in graduate school.

What would you rate yourself in C/C++ on a scale of 10? Something tells me that someone's going to see my self-rating in the next round, and give me a lot of grief about it.

The next few questions were really stock, man. I mean, I had seen almost all these questions on various websites. But exactly two questions that I was asked, I hadn't seen. And when I figured out one of them, the interviewer asks me if I had seen them before. I said I hadn't, of course. But still, it made me almost think I was lying. Because I didn't tell her I had seen the others before. Anyway, its not my problem, if MS wants to ask questions over and over. And I am not going to list them, since you can find out with a simple search.

My favorite question (I hadn't seen this one): There are three switches in one room, and they control three light bulbs in another. You need to figure out which switch controls which bulb, but you can only visit the light bulb room once. I took a while to figure that one out. But I was happy when I got it.

The easiest question that I took longest to answer: This is really embarrassing I admit, but I took forever to figure this one out - There is a basket with x white balls, y black balls, z blue balls and w green balls. How many balls do you need to pick out of this basket before you are sure of having two balls of the same color? You don't want to know my first few attempts at solving this no-brainer. But finally, I saw the light: the pigeonhole principle. I profusely apologized to my interviewer for taking that long to figure it out.

Some things I did not do well:
My interviewer asked me how I keep abreast of the latest technological developments in the field. I blurted something about reading research articles and tech reports. Not very convincing.

What is your favorite software product? Since I use iTunes all the time, and I like all its features - its nice design, smart playlists, its fast startup in spite of its size, and its other hidden nuggets, that was my answer. She came back at me with this:

If you could improve iTunes, what would you do? Sadly, I didn't answer this one. I am very pissed about it, actually. If you are reading this, and you have suggestions, please let me know.

How would you test a stack? I know I am bad at testing. Sometimes I wish I had actually studied in college. All I could think of was to check for stack overflow, underflow and correct order of push/pop. She was expecting more, but I had nothing else to offer.

Anyway, I am going to Redmond sometime in January or February for the big interview. Excitingly enough, the email I got says, "... [be] ready to do a lot of C/C++ coding at your interviews. And most importantly, don't forget to test them before you say you are done". Thanks, will keep that in mind.

Four more years, indeed

Yes, as I begin writing this post, I see Ohio leaning towards the President. And that is it. Game over. The Shankster predicts final tally: Bush: 274 - Kerry: LOSER. I am disappointed, to say the least. But hey, I can at least stop being a poll junkie and go to sleep now.

Blogger Lies

I wonder which retard programmed this Blogger software. For the last two months, the number of posts on my blog has remained unchanged, while I merrily add posts. For some reason, I am very pissed about it. And my unhappiness only grows every time I see that counter. I guess its because every time I post something new, it stays the same. As if telling me that my posts are worthless, and hence not worth counting. True, but depressing.

I am feeling like a piece of shit for another reason. I have now been to the DMV twice in a week, and haven't managed to even take the instruction permit exam, let alone pass it. The first time, I dick-headedly chose to visit the only DMV that actually doesn't issue new permits. When I found out, I felt like setting myself on fire. Especially because I had to make the trip using Rhode Island's lame ass public transportation - the bus. Huge disappointment. But apparently, it was just the beginning of my troubles.

The next time, my friend actually managed to locate a DMV office that is closer, and that actually issues new permits. I made sure I had all the documents that were listed on their ass faced website. Signature ID (passport), age ID (passport, again) proof of residence (credit card statements) etc. We made our way hopefully to that shit hole office at 7 in the morning, and waited outside for for an hour, in line with a bunch of people who seemed to be even bigger losers than myself. Wierd.

Finally, the doors opened and we all filed in like lost sheep. After some aimless wandering, I got as far as the counter where I was supposed to get my documents examined. The written test was only minutes away. Then, this lady who looked over my stuff told me I should get an accreditation letter from the University. This was to make sure I was still enrolled in the U. I looked at her incredulously for a moment. I tried to explain to her that I had all the documents that were listed on the DMV's website, and that this requirement was nowhere listed. She gave me a look that left me in no doubt as to what she thought of me. I see losers like you every day. Get the fuck out of here. She adjusted her composure, and said, somewhat daintily that she couldn't help me any more, since I didn't have the letter. I felt like holding her head by the hair, and banging it over the counter. But all I did was to put on my best look of exasperation, and walk away.

No prizes for guessing how hopeful I am of ever getting an instruction permit, leave alone a driving licence.

Ray Charles, anime and endorsement

As the title indicates, I will talk about Ray Charles, anime and endorsement. I am so creative.

As I mentioned some posts ago, I have been listening to significant amounts of soul/funk. Ray was in the news recently (what with his death, and the biopic). It only seemed appropriate that I check out his music. And boy, was that a good thing to do. Current faves: I can't stop loving you, Georgia on my mind, You don't know me and What'd I say.

Speaking of Ray, I recently saw my first anime movie - Metropolis, and the soundtrack features I can't stop loving you. The movie itself wasn't very good. I was disappointed with the cliched turns of plot, in spite of the fact that the creators were working with the rather more flexible medium of animation. But it had its good moments. Like the ending. Which is when Ray's song plays. I was surprised at how much more effective a song becomes when put in context. Now, everytime I listen to that song (which is quite often), I am reminded of the scene from the movie. It definitely sounds better and bigger now, than when I first heard it, before I saw this movie...

Coming to the final topic of this blog, I am soon going to announce my (very influential) endorsement for a Presidential candidate. Tough choice... stay tuned.

Also, my favoritest blog, the northlondonhippy blog, is a nominee for BOB (Best Of Blogs) - a contest conducted by Deutsche Welle. Please visit his blog, and vote for the hippy when it comes time to do so! Peace.

Blogs of interest

Of course I often click the Next Blog button. If you don't know what I am talking about, look at the top right corner for the nicely placed button that takes you to the next random blog. The number of blogs, styles, content all made me stand back and think about the whole idea of blogging. Anyway, I found some interesting blogs.

My favorite blog is easily the northlondonhippy's blog. Mr. Hippy actually put up his car as a giveaway, to promote his blog. I am sure he was high on his 'shrooms when he thought up this idea. Unfortunately for me, I live on the other side of the Atlantic.

Bill O'Reilly's in deep shit

Mr. No-Spin-Zone has been accused by FOX producer Andrea Mackris of sexual harassment. Among other things, O'Reilly called her up, and talked about sliding a falafel up her pussy, while they showered together! What a kinky motherfucker. Hilarious! Get the complete transcript of the suit filed against O'Reilly at the Smoking Gun. Actually, the allegations are sensational in many ways. O'Reilly claims that liberal radio show host Al Franken is set for some big comeuppance for taking on FOX (courtesy head honcho Roger Ailes). O'Reilly also ridicules Tom Brokaw, talks about his sexual prowess, and even does it with a vibrator, while on the phone with Mackris.

Surprisingly, none of the major media outlets covered this potentially explosive story. Not even the New York Times, which is regularly bashed by O'Reilly on his Factor and other shows. The Washington Post did cover it, although in a half-assed way. I would love to see if Bill still has the balls to dish morality lessons to everyone aound him. I sense him going down, and I love it!

True grit

The LA Times profiles Thomas van Orden, a homeless lawyer, who saves money by eating on alternate days, and has currently sued the State of Texas for breaching the First Amendment, which requires separation of Church and State. His allegation: a granite monument that stands outside the Texas Capitol in Austin, TX violates the said Amendment. Inscribed on the monument are the American Eagle, the Flag, and... the Ten Commandments! For over forty years, this granite slab went unnoticed. And then, along came van Orden.

His story is quite interesting. He is so broke for cash, that he doesn't know if he will be able to get to the Supreme Court in Washington to argue his case! Of course, even if he does that, he thinks he will probably sleep on the streets in Washington before arguing one of the most important cases in judicial history. The article is here.

Solaris, current music and other things

With time, my blogging is turning sporadic. I expected this from the beginning, but it's so true that novelty wears off, often quicker than expected. I have also been busy with my research this past week. Anyway, I recently saw the 2002 remake of Solaris, based on Stanislaw Lem's classic sci-fi novel of the same name.

The movie was actually not as bad as some people made it out to be. In the first place, Lem's novel doesn't lend itself to be made into a typical sci-fi movie. For that matter, Lem's sci-fiction is not typical sci-fiction. But that's another matter, which demands lengthy contemplation (for another time). But what really got me was the soundtrack. I was simply blown away by Cliff Martinez's genius. Martinez must not only be a perceptive reader of Lem's work, but also a master at capturing the atmosphere, the emotions at play when visiting a planet as strange as Solaris. He does an outstanding work of conveying exactly these with his music. And to think I would never listen to electronic ambient music!

There are some other class acts in music I have recently rediscovered for myself. Frank Sinatra, for instance. That voice of his! I have also been listening to soul/blues/funk lately. Marvin Gaye, Al Green, and even Rick James!

"I'm Rick James, bitch!"
Dave Chappelle