Shashank's Musings

Wanted: A Wireless Keyboard That Does Not Suck

2009-08-04T19:04:00.006-05:00

Wireless keyboards (and mice) for PC's are obviously a convenient piece of technology, but I have two problems with the current line of available consumer models of wireless keyboards:

Dome-switch keyboards: unless you are a graybeard hacker, it is likely that the PC keyboard you are currently using is a dome-switch keyboard. This is the type that makes a mushy, almost quiet sound when you press a key. In my opinion, this technology robs all joy out of the act of typing. I prefer the buckling switch technology — perfected by the IBM Model M keyboards — which produces a loud and satisfying click every time you hit a key.

Superfluous "Function" keys: I swear to you, the Microsoft wireless keyboard that I am using has this ominous looking button on top, which I am afraid to press, for I fear it may launch a nuclear attack on Tehran. Seriously, who needs all these extra keys that waste keyboard real estate? The only non-standard key I can tolerate on my keyboard is the Windows key.

Fortunately, Unicomp actually still makes some keyboards with the buckling switch technology, but their only wireless keyboard, the SK-7500 wireless, doesn't seem to have buckling switch keys. Also, its wireless receiver uses a PS/2 connector to attach to the PC.

Does anyone know where I can get a wireless keyboard that does not have the aforementioned shortcomings? I will pay good money for it, too.

Help My Friends Get to Mongolia!

2009-04-23T14:07:00.008-05:00

This is easily the coolest thing that anyone I've known has ever been involved in. Arun, my college buddy, has signed up for Mongol Rally 2009. That means he and his team are going to drive from London to Eastern Mongolia. That is one hell of a road trip. Thousands of miles, 15 countries and, I am pretty sure, some incredible adventures, over a two month period. You can find out more at the Mongol Rally Rustics Blog.

Arun and his team are looking for support to help them get to Mongolia. They are donating all proceeds to charities. In fact, they will even donate their vehicle in Mongolia, and figure out how to get back once they get there. Gnarly!

So, help out for a worthy cause, if you can. Donate to the Mongol Rally Rustics' effort (you can also click the image link above).

Merging lists (or any sequences) in Python

2009-02-16T22:38:00.005-05:00

When writing Python programs, I often need to merge a list of lists into a single list. For example:

[[1, 2, 3], [4, 5], [6, 7]] -> [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]

Looking around on the Internet, I have not come across any solution better than the one I always use:

>>> def mergeseq( *lists ):
... return reduce( lambda x, y: x + y, lists )
...
>>> mergeseq( [1, 2, 3], [4, 5], [6, 7] )
[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]
>>> mergeseq( *[['a', 'b'], ['c'], ['d', 'e']] )
['a', 'b', 'c', 'd', 'e']

If you know of any better solutions, let me know. The idea behind my solution is to use the reduce builtin, and the fact that the addition ('+') operator in Python works as expected for lists.

Note that really, all that mergeseq is doing is to apply the addition operator to the current result and the next element in the input. So, this will work too:

>>> mergeseq( 1, 2, 3, 4 )
10

The Auto-podal Tow and Other Phenomena on Indian Roads

2008-08-13T14:24:00.013-05:00

Updated 7 Dec 2008: Ashutosh Mehra, my friend from back in college, also blogged about autorickshaw antics in India, and you can see an actual picture of the autopodal tow in action.

After a week on Indian roads, I wonder:

That people are actually able to get anywhere at all, and
That I actually drove on these roads when I lived here.

Many Indian cities now have three lane roads — the right lane meant for use by two-wheelers like motorbikes, the middle lane for cars, and the left lane for trucks. Such traffic rules, of course, are blissfully ignored. In fact, two-wheelers occupy all three lanes of the road, drive on the sidewalks when possible, and squeeze in between larger vehicles at every opportunity. Cars and trucks, on the other hand, tend to straddle the line dividing two lanes.

Two-wheelers always make their way to the front of the traffic light at every intersection, like the vanguard of some randomly assembled army. Somehow, they always know when the light is going to turn green. Ironically, though, two seconds before the light turns green, these modern day cavaliers dash through the intersection, thereby making it a fatal strategy to try and rush through a yellow light in India.

Auto rickshaws, which are, as far as I know, a uniquely Indian mode of transportation, commit so many transgressions on Indian roads that the subject deserves its own library of work. But among the more entertaining of these is what I call the auto-podal tow, wherein the driver of one auto-rickshaw gets behind the rickshaw that needs a tow. He then sticks out his foot and pushes the other rickshaw forward, while driving his own. Significant distances are thus covered. This feat of supreme agility is performed with much nonchalance, while taking up as much width of the road as possible. Often, the drivers of the two auto rickshaws can be found engaged in conversation, oblivious to the honking of the other riders stuck behind their coupled vehicles.

In Chennai, the auto-rickshaws are equipped with fare meters, but not a one of the meters is actually used. Fares are agreed upon by the driver and the passengers beforehand. I read somewhere that auto-rickshaws have less power than a high-end lawnmower. That, by itself, may not seem significant, until you also know that a single auto-rickshaw is regularly used to transport up to five grown men, or a dozen schoolchildren, or the entire livestock of a small village.

Sending Shorts in Action

2008-07-12T23:48:00.001-05:00

Sending Shorts in Action
Originally uploaded by Nizz0

That's me climbing in my American flag-themed shorts. This was at Castle Rock, about a month ago. Good times.

Can I Haz Ur Internetz?

2008-01-25T13:09:00.000-05:00

A friend asked me to appraise all the hoopla surrounding Web 2.0 for an article for the BITS alumni magazine. Here is my contribution:

Web 2.0. The very mention of these words make my skin crawl, like when you see that creepy older relative from your childhood, who was a little too fond of having you sit on his lap. Its funny how very few people actually define Web 2.0, but every two-bit scumbag company in Silicon Valley is ready to jump on the bandwagon.

So, what exactly is Web 2.0? Whence did it come to haunt the "Internets"? Around 2004, a company called Google introduced two web-based applications: GMail and Google Maps. These applications felt "richer" and more responsive than most web applications before. Google resurrected a long-forgotten browser/HTTP feature (the infamous "xmlHttpdRequest") that allowed websites to fetch data asynchronously from a Web Server. GMail and Google Maps were truly novel, useful web applications. But we can't say the same for the efforts of the inevitable shit-stream of me-too companies that followed.

Today, the Internet is littered with retarded-sounding Web 2.0 efforts like Wishlistr, twittr, tumblr, etc., which have no real revenue source, serve no real purpose, and make no underlying engineering advancements, but simply rely on what uncov.com appropriately calls "loser-generated content" (you create the content, we will make the money), tagging, and "social networks" (more on these later). It reminds one of the three-phase business plan of the Underpants Gnomes in that South Park episode:

Build AJAX-y/Flash-y website,
???,
Profit!!!

Web 2.0 applications are supposed to share a few common properties: making the browser richer in functionality and more responsive ("pages load faster!"), using tags to add a semantic layer, and encouraging user-collaboration, etc. Never mind that the HTTP hack used to provide these "features" breaks the most basic rule of web-browsing (unless carefully worked around): the Back button on your browser. The HTTP protocol is fundamentally unsuited for the kind of flashy jugglery these Web 2.0 ass-clowns are trying to pull off. The whole effort is akin to putting lipstick on a pig. But it hasn't stopped these Webtards from trying anyway. A search for AJAX libraries on Google yields way more results than it should.

The biggest me-too Web 2.0 offenders have to be the dime-a-dozen attempts to create websites for managing TO DO lists. I mean, come on, the ultimate solution for managing todo lists has already been created: its called a Sticky note. I don't need to login to a fricking computer to remember to get milk from the grocery store.

A discussion on Web 2.0 can't be complete without mention of the 800-pound gorilla of Web 2.0 efforts, the one site to rule them all: Facebook. Admit it, you have an account, and you have wasted at least an hour a day Poking friends and stalking that girl from that party. There is now an ecosystem of parasitic companies whose raison d'etre is to build "Applications" for Facebook. Lets look at one of the more popular Applications: "Superpoke". What, pray, does this application allow you to do? You can "throw a virtual sheep at", "grope", "spoon", or even "dry hump" that special someone. If that doesn't woo her, nothing will. Then, there is the Facebook Gifts application. Let me break this one down for you. You pay Facebook a dollar to send someone a fricking image file of such things as cakes, monkeys, and champagne glasses. To be honest, I am miffed that I didn't think of this one first. I would be rolling in so much cash I wouldn't be writing this shitty blog. Apparently, this Application is very popular with my friends. 48 out of my 50 friends have sent Facebook Gifts to each other. I feel like an outcast.

And then there are blogs. Blogs, per se, need not be Web 2.0, but the inevitable march of Web 2.0 progress is slowly taking over the "blogosphere" (great word, by the way). I went to a database conference recently. There were real companies like eBay, Powerset, etc., which were talking about ways they were solving real problems with their huge data sets, when someone from a company called Bloglines (I vomited a little in my mouth when I heard that name) took to the podium and said, without a hint of sarcasm, "Our mission is to index every blog post ever written". Oh great. They want to index every badly written, narcissistic and ultimately meaningless outpouring of thought on the internet. Someone didn't get the memo: It takes an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters to produce anything worth reading. Of course, the irony of it hasn't escaped me — I am one of them.

Bouldering at Castle Rock (Labor Day 2007)

2007-09-04T02:54:00.000-05:00

Deepak and I went bouldering at Castle Rock State Park near Los Gatos, CA. We were supposed to fly to the Grand Canyon this long weekend, but we canceled our flight tickets at the last minute, because we couldn't get a campsite at the bottom of the canyon. Bouldering turned out to be fun in itself, though. Here's the video I made:

Mt Adams, WA: Trip Report

2007-07-18T01:21:00.000-05:00

Date:	14 July - 15 July, 2007
Attendees:	Shashank, Manjunath and Sunder
Trail:	South Climb (starting at Cold Springs campground)
Elevation reached:	11,500 ft. out of 12,276 ft.

First, the pictures:

Next, the report:

We first stopped at the Mt Adams Ranger Station at about 2pm. There, we bought Cascades Volcano Passes, which also served as our Wilderness Permit to go above 7,000 ft. on Mt. Adams. We next drove to the Cold Springs campground (5,000 ft.) at 3:15pm on Friday. The campsite is in the Mt. Adams recreation area, just off Hwy 141 in Trout Lake, Washington. We parked right next to the South Climb trailhead. It took us about 1.5 hours to get our packs set up, after which we set off (5pm).

Sunder took off ahead on the trail, like a mountain goat. Carrying heavier packs, Manjunath and I were slower. I was practically walking on all fours, stooped by the pack-mule sized load on my back. I felt thankful I had my hiking poles. The trail is well-marked up to an elevation of about 7,000 ft. after which the mountain slope gets mostly rocky. We climbed for about 2.5 hours, and gained an elevation of about 2,500 ft. At this point, I called a stop, since there wasn't much daylight left, and I know its not a pleasant experience setting up camp at night. I was a bit worried, since we were mostly above the tree line, and it was real windy. We set up our tent anyway, next to a clump of rocks and brush.

We decided to cook dinner inside our tent: a potentially dangerous thing to do, when dinner involves burning propane inside a tent made of inflammable material. But, we were exhausted and starved. And, as I mentioned earlier, it was too windy outside to light a fire, let alone keep it going. Dinner was a rather sorry affair, involving some chicken noodle soup, and spring vegetable mix. Note to self: next time, spend more than two minutes at the grocery store to pick up food for the hike.

We tried to get some sleep after dinner, but the wind kept up all night, rocking our tent. It made me wonder if it might have been a better idea to camp at a lower elevation, below the tree line. On our way up, we met people who did so. But, as we found out later, we probably camped at the best possible altitude.

We set an alarm for 4am the next morning. We woke up on time, made breakfast (oatmeal and hot cocoa) and broke camp. We left our tent standing after placing rocks inside. We packed light daypacks, and left the rest of our stuff in the tent. We headed out at about 6am (late!). Within an hour, we reached the snow line. We put on our crampons and trudged up the snow. We hit Lunch Counter at about 9am. Lunch counter is a flat expanse of land at about 9,000 ft. I was surprised by the number of people who had camped here -- it was way windier up here.

At this point, Pike's Peak, the false summit of Mt Adams was becoming prominently visible at the top of a huge, steep glacier. Our task now was to trudge up this face of the mountain for an elevation gain of 2,500 ft. Climbing up a steep incline of snow and ice at a high altitude is a very exhausting, yet unique, experience. At an elevation of 10,000 ft., there really aren't too many obstacles in your line of sight. Every time I stopped to take a breath, I could see the green valleys of the Pacific Northwest stretch out as far as the eye could see, punctuated by Mounts Hood and St. Helens in the distance. Shafts of sunlight pierced the clouds, selectively lighting the valley floor below.

I was afraid we might have problems with the high altitude. But even at 10,000 ft., the worst I experienced was being a bit out of breath, which could simply be exhaustion. And exhausted we were. I focused on settling into a rhythm with my breathing, and climbing. I decided to take 50 steps and then pause for a breath for about 10 seconds. This strategy really helped, and soon, I was feeling energetic. I was also helped by the fact that I was literally walking in the footsteps of others. The hardened ice made stepping easier.

By about 11am, I reached Pike's Peak, the false summit of Mt Adams, at 11,500 ft. Sunder had made it to the top about 10 minutes earlier. But he was completely exhausted, since he went off course, and used up a lot of energy to get back on trail. Moral: Follow the crowds up the glacier. I was raring to go on. The real summit was in plain sight from where I stood, just another steep incline about 800 ft. tall. Manjunath too reached the false summit. But just then, out of nowhere, clouds moved in, reducing visibility substantially. There was also the possibility that they could be storm clouds. At this time, we decided to turn back. We did see others who continued on to the summit.

Going down Mt Adams is a tricky affair. There were those who hiked up with their skis and snowboards. They just skied or snowboarded down gracefully. The rest of us had to either walk down the steep icy face of the mountain, or slide down it ('glissading'). We chose to do the latter, since that would be faster. But boy, was that a bad idea. I did not realize how much speed you can gain sliding down the snow, even using the ice-ax to break my slide. At one point, I was sliding too close to the rocks on one side of the glacier, and I ended rushing straight into them. I was lucky I ended up hurting only my elbow and not my head. After that, I decided I would walk down the whole slope, no matter how long it took.

Going down Mt Adams is tricky also because there are many snowy slopes down and they all look the same. I took the right path all the way back to our camp. But Manjunath and Sunder were not so lucky. They arrived at our tent almost a hour after me, after making a few wrong turns. Tip: as you go up the mountain, keep looking back occasionally, so you know which way you came. We broke up our tent and headed down the mountain by about 3pm. We reached the trailhead by about 5pm, completely sore and exhausted.

In summary, it was a really good first high-altitude mountaineering experience. We went at pretty much the best time. The weather was agreeable mostly. There was a crowd on the mountain, and that was actually a good thing, since I learned from watching others.

Summer of Hikes

2007-06-16T01:11:00.000-05:00

I am going to Portland, OR next month, with Manjunath, where the plan is to hike Mt Hood. Manjunath and I go way back. He and I went to school together since first grade. In preparation for the hike, we are hiking various peaks in the bay area, using the invaluable Bay Area Hiker website for guidance. Last weekend, I hiked up to Eagle's Peak at Mt Diablo State Park. Tomorrow, we are going to hike Mt. St. Helena in Robert Louis Stevenson State Park, a couple hours North of San Francisco.

Pictures from last weekend's hike:

San Francisco Hippie Fest 2007: A Brief Report

2007-06-15T20:22:00.000-05:00

Last Sunday, I checked out San Francisco's annual hippie fest, also known as the Haight-Ashbury Street Fair. A stretch of Haight St. (about 15 blocks) was closed to traffic. Live music played at both ends of the stretch. Stalls were set up on both sides of the street. By my estimation, the crowd was in the tens of thousands.

The scene was quite authentic, down to the dreadlocks, the unshaven armpits (I'm talking both sexes here), the love and peace signs, the reggae music, and such. Also highly visible were the Hare Krishnas, chanting and roving through the crowded streets, spreading their special brand of blissful slackerism. Stalls sold beads, amulets, bracelets, hemp clothing, and other trinkets that are somehow perceived to be of value by hippies. Also on sale were paraphernalia like bongs, glass pipes, hookahs, etc. for smoking, um, I don't know, tobacco. If you stood for any time on Haight St. during the festival, however, the wafting smells were certainly not of tobacco, if you catch my drift. If you are still hazy about what I am referring to, there were stalls selling a book called The Cannabible, and handing out leaflets promoting a certain "Cannabis Action Network" (Cannabis and action? Sure. If by action, you mean, eating all the cookies in the house afterwards).

Verily, it was quite fascinating to observe hippies in their natural habitat, among others of their kind. If this was just a paltry street fest, then I can only imagine what Burning Man must be like, in person. I am so stoked for next weekend's Gay Pride parade (featuring dykes on bikes).

Overheard at the fest: "What is cannabis?"

Sign of the day: "Please donate $ for marijuana research. Will smoke it all".

Cab conversation in San Francisco

2007-05-15T01:36:00.000-05:00

I was recently in a San Francisco cab with some Indian friends. We were discussing things to do at Point Reyes National Seashore, about 30 mi. North of San Francisco. An excerpt of our conversation follows:

Friend (to me):	"You can go whale watching at Point Reyes. There's a big lighthouse. My girlfriend and I went up to get a good view."
Asian cab driver:	"What the fuck were you doing whale watching, man? That's like the white man's thing — whale watching."
Friend:	". . ."
Cab driver:	"So, did you get any, for doing all that whale watching with your girlfriend?"
Friend:	"No, we didn't see any whales."
Cab driver:	"Fuck the whales, man! I'm talking about later that night."

My friend refused to answer the question.

Silicon Valley: First Impressions

2007-03-29T11:48:00.000-05:00

About two weeks ago, I moved to Mountain View, California from Boston, MA. I am starting a new job at a startup here. I live in an apartment complex in Mountain View with James, my new roommate. When I mentioned to a friend in Boston that James was Asian, the first thing he said was that James and I'd be like Harold and Kumar. James has a pet hamster, Dottie. Dottie, being nocturnal, spends hours at night going round and round the hamster wheel in his cage. It cracks me up every time he puts his head out of the wheel to see if he's actually gotten somewhere. I can almost see the disappointment when he realizes he's just where he started. He keeps doing it anyway.

I had barely reached California before I had my first run in with the law. James drove me to a bike shop on historic El Camino Real, where I bought a new road bike. With great enthusiasm, I started biking back to my apartment less than a mile away. I had hardly gone half-way, before I was stopped by a cop for running a red light. Fortunately, the man let me go without a ticket, but not before first verifying that the shiny new bike was indeed mine, and not stolen.

Everything is pretty much the same out here on the West Coast, but with little differences. You have the same stores, fast food chains, etc. I walked into a Target store that was so similar to the one in Somerville - down to the arrangement of the aisles - that I could walk around the store blind-folded. But instead of Stop & Shop on the East Coast, you have Safeway here. Thankfully, Trader Joe's is here too.

The one big bonus of moving to the Bay Area was an immediate and drastic positive change in the weather. I am still getting used to the fact that every day can be nice. I wake up to cloudless, blue skies every day. I am also getting used to zipping up and down US Highway 101, the backbone of Silicon Valley. Speaking of Silicon valley, I had a mini culture shock upon my arrival. Driving on Segways, playing volleyball at lunch, lava lamps on everyone's desk, free snacks and soda at the workplace -- all seem to be the norm here.

There are also many more immigrants of all stripes here. Driving a rental car on Sunday, I noticed groups of (illegal?) immigrants waiting around for work on El Camino Real. Oakland seems to have a noticeable black population (as opposed to Silicon valley, where I have seen none). But mostly, I was struck by the profusion of Indians here. Specialty Indian restaurants, Indian TV channels, dyed in the wool Punjabi cab drivers, middle-aged Indian men and women strolling down the streets in saris and dhotis, the sound of Indian-accented English, apartment complexes completely rented by Indians, etc. made me realize how much fewer Indians there are in Boston.

JetFlu Airways

2007-03-16T10:36:00.000-05:00

Update at 1:16pm: Wow, someone from JetBlue headquarters read this post and emailed me (in an unofficial capacity)! He mentioned that my flight is still scheduled for departure. I am heartened to know that JetBlue listens. Its a rare corporate trait, and I appreciate it. Thanks, JetBlue.

Update at 12:36pm: I am not as mad as I was an hour ago. I was also finally able to track my flight status on JetBlue's website. As of 12:36pm today, my flight is still On Time. So, may be I will be able to fly after all. I guess I will get to the airport and find out. JetBlue, I still hate you.

JetBlue Airways fucked up. Again. It is March 16, and we are scheduled to get about a foot of snow here in the Northeast. It also happens to be the day I am scheduled to fly on Jetblue flight 471 from Boston, MA to San Jose, CA. Only, I wake up to read that JetBlue has preemptively cancelled more than 200 flights operating out of the Northeast (mostly from JFK and LaGuardia). What's worse, I have been spectacularly unsuccessful trying to find out if my flight is one of the canceled flights. JetBlue's website is completely unresponsive ("Server too busy"). Their phone lines have been jammed to oblivion by anxious customers. Boston's Logan Airport website and customer service representatives insist that there is no JetBlue flight 471. Fan-fuckin'-tastic.

On Valentine's day, I booked my JetBlue flight. On that day (February 14), when the Northeast was hit by a regular winter blizzard (about 10" of snow), JetBlue was in the news for fucking up majorly at JFK. Due to bad weather, planes -- both departing and just arrived -- were stranded on the tarmac for up to 8 hours. With passengers in them. Can you imagine spending 8 hours going absolutely nowhere inside a plane? Especially if you can see the terminal from the window by your seat. But I still gave them the benefit of doubt. Also, it couldn't possibly happen again, now, could it? Well, it could. And it did.

Bottom line: I still don't know if I will fly today or not. Its this uncertainty that sucks.

Hey, JetBlue: Eat shit and die. I realize that was unnecessarily harsh.

Pink Floyd & I: The End of A Relationship

2007-03-10T03:36:00.000-05:00

"Leave ... but don't leave me."

Breathe, Dark Side of The Moon (1973)

This is a re-post of an article on my earlier homepage from sometime in 2004.

It was with great sadness that I recently ended my one and only meaningful relationship. For the same reason many relationships end: I outgrew my love for The Band That Barrett Built (and left).

Goodbye, Pink Floyd. Its time to take down the great gig In the sky. There will always be a special place in my heart for you. But I think its best that I move on. There was a time in my life when I spent days thinking only about you, and the beautiful music you made. I would keep talking about you, to anyone who cared to listen. In hindsight, I was blinded by love, and I failed then to see your shortcomings. I remember once reading someone call your lyrics trite. Oh, the blasphemy! At the time, I was furious, lost for words even. But now I see there was some truth in that criticism.

Our relationship has served its purpose, and now I must move on. There won't be another like you, but all good things must come to an end. I hope there is someone out there who loves you more than I ever did, though I doubt it.

OK, what do I really mean? Well, for a start, I have left behind the time when I listened to the entire Division Bell album (or Wish You Were Here, sometimes) every day. Occasionally, multiple times in a day. Secondly, I started to critically listen to Pink Floyd's music, instead of simply worshiping every song they ever produced. I can now admit that Pow R. Toc H. is an awful song, even though its an early. So were most songs on The Final Cut. However, I will punch you in the face if you talk nasty about Dark Side of The Moon.

Fun with Probability

2007-03-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

Prof. Derek Abbott at the University of Adelaide posed a list of questions as "Imponderables". One of the questions, involving probabilities and expectations, caught my eye. I am going to reproduce that question here (edited), along with my "answer" to the question:

If someone comes to you and tells you, "Give me any amount of money you like. I will toss a fair coin. If it is heads, you win and I will double your money; if it is tails, you lose and I will give you only half your money back". You play this game, because if the amount you bet is N, you can win either 2N or N/2, giving an expected return of 1.25N.

Now consider the following related game: Someone presents you with two envelopes and says, "One envelope contains 2N and the other contains N/2. Pick an envelope". Then when you've picked an envelope, this person asks if you want to keep that envelope or swap it for the other one. What strategy should you adopt? Swap or not? Let us complicate it a bit further: Suppose you have the option of looking inside the first envelope. What then?

What is the fundamental difference between the two games described above? Another related question is: does the act of observing the amount in the first envelope change the probabilities in question?

First, some terminology: Let S1 be the strategy of staying with the first envelope, and let S2 be the strategy of swapping the first envelope for the second.

In the version of the game where the player can not see the contents of the first envelope, it is easy to see that a player's expected earning is 1.25N with either strategy S1 or S2. Let us focus on the version of the game where the player is allowed to see the amount in the first envelope.

Consider that you are the player, but you have short-term amnesia, rendering you unable to remember the value of N from the previous time you played the game.

Suppose you play the game 20 times, following the strategy S1. If the first envelope is chosen at random from the two envelopes, you can expect the first envelope to contain N/2 in about 10 games, and 2N in the other 10 games. In fact, this is true a priori: It is true even before you see the amount in the first envelope. It follows that your average earning per game is 1.25N.

Similarly, suppose you play the game 20 times, following the strategy S2. Observe that if the first envelope is chosen at random like before, you can expect that the second envelope contains N/2 in 10 games and 2N in the other 10 games. Once again, this is a priori true. Seeing the amount in the first envelope does not change the fact. Clearly, your average earning per game is 1.25N again.

So, both strategies are equally beneficial, in both versions of the game. To be formal about it, let E[S] be the expected return for strategy S. Let Y and Z be random variables representing the amounts inside the first and the second envelopes, respectively.

Clearly, Pr(Y = N/2) = Pr(Y = 2N) = Pr(Z = N/2) = Pr(Z = 2N) = 1/2.

Let F be the event that the player looks inside the first envelope. The crucial observation is that the event Y = N/2 is independent of F. So are the events Y = 2N, Z = N/2 and Z = 2N.

Therefore, in both versions of the game,
E[S1] = E[Y] = 1.25N, and
E[S2] = E[Z] = 1.25N.

A Literal Appeal to English Speakers

2007-03-01T21:57:00.000-05:00

From the Desk of the Language Nazi:

I don't claim mastery over the English language, either in its written form, or in diction. But it irritates me when I have to repeatedly encounter misuse of the language by native English speakers. My pet grouse is with the misuse of the word "literally". Virtually every use of this word that I have come across has been incorrect. It kills me a little every time. A like-minded soul even ranted about the abuse of the word "literally" on craigslist.

My fellow English speakers, I urge you to be sparing with your use of the word "literally". For example, you might say:

"News of John's resignation was literally a bolt from the blue to me."

Unless you were actually struck by lightning and burned to a crisp when you heard news of John's resignation, that is incorrect usage. Instead, say:

"News of John's resignation was virtually a bolt from the blue to me."

When in doubt, use the word "virtually" in place of the word "literally". Both words have the same number of syllables; and "virtually" is probably what you should have used in the first place. Other acceptable substitutes: "practically" (more forceful, but to be used with caution), and "really" (much less forceful, but widely applicable).

So, the next time you speak to me, do not misuse the term. Or I will break open your head. Literally.

Gazzag can suck my balls

2006-11-02T20:02:00.000-05:00

Why is everyone and his grandmother clogging my inbox with invites to join the latest social network -- "Gazzag"¹? Now, I know social networks are the latest fad -- hell, I am on Facebook and Orkut -- but seriously, a network named Gazzag? Who would name anything² that? "Gazzag" sounds like the gurgling noise a serial killer's choking victim might make as he is strangled to death. The name is as appealing as catfood.

I don't care if Gazzag is giving away a bullion of gold to each member everyday -- its horrendous, unimaginative name is enough to keep me from ever trying it out. So, friends, with all due respect, please stop sending me invites to join Gazzag. I want to be in a social network named Gazzag as much as I need another asshole on my forehead.

¹ Usually, I link to websites I talk about. Gazzag doesn't deserve one. A link to the Wikipedia article on Gazzag is enough.
² Apparently, Gazzag originated in Brazil, so it might mean something in Portugese. Well, Brazilians, sorry, but better luck next time with names.

Smart Keywords for Google Maps in Firefox

2006-10-15T18:59:00.000-05:00

In this article, I will describe how to utilize the Smart Keywords feature (also referred to as Quick Search) in Mozilla's Firefox browser to quicken the tasks of finding directions, or simply going on a virtual snooping expedition with Google Maps. You can, of course, apply this technique to your favorite web-based mapping service.

Figure 1, showing directions from Boston to Providence on Google Maps using a Firefox Smart Keyword, "map":

A Smart Keyword in Firefox gives you a shortcut for executing a search form on almost any webpage. Consider, for instance, how you search the web using Google: normally, you would navigate to google.com, and then enter your search terms into the search form. But because Firefox has the Smart Keyword "google" bound to this search form, you can simply enter this keyword along with your search terms into Firefox's address bar.

For example, if you want to see all the movies playing near the zip code 02145, you can type the following at the address bar:

google movies:02145

This is the equivalent of entering the following at the address bar:

http://www.google.com/search?q=movies%3A02145

Go ahead, Firefox users, try it!

Define your own Smart Keywords for Google Maps in Firefox

Firefox also allows you to define your own Smart Keywords. Because I like its interface, I frequently use Google Maps for driving directions, or to simply see the vicinity of some location I might want to visit. So, I made a Smart Keyword for Google Maps. I can now type in the following at the address bar in Firefox to get directions to drive from Boston's Logan Airport to Providence's T F Green Airport (see Figure 1):

map from:BOS to:PVD

Here's how you too can do this:

1.	Go to Google Maps (http://maps.google.com/).
2.	Right click on the search form; select 'Add a keyword for this search...'.
3.	Enter a name for this keyword (mine: "[map] Google Maps"), and your desired key binding (mine: "map"). Select which bookmarks folder you want to save your keyword in (I chose 'Quick Searches' under 'Bookmarks'). Your new key binding should be available for use, with a bit more tweaking.
4.	Browse to the Bookmarks folder in Firefox. This is available in the menu item 'Manage Bookmarks' under the Bookmarks toolbar ('Organize Bookmarks', if you are using Firefox 2.0, or later).
5.	Browse to the folder that contains your new Smart Keyword binding (I saved mine in the 'Quick Searches' folder under 'Bookmarks'). Select it, and then click on the 'Properties' button in the menubar (this will open a panel where you can edit this new binding).
6.	Modify the 'Location' value, to this: `http://maps.google.com/maps?q=%s&f=q&hl=en` This figure shows the modified value:

That's it! Try the search I demonstrated earlier on in the post (Figure 1).

Fun with cats (involves catnip)

2006-09-29T09:48:00.000-05:00

I live with three cats. Yesterday night, we got them stoned on catnip. Blackie, one of them, chases after a laser pointer in this video. Not exactly a scorcher, but more of an experiment:

How to paint a room

2006-09-24T11:04:00.000-05:00

Whoever said painting a room is an easy job had no idea what they were talking about. Take it from me, its hard. How do I know? Well, I am painting my room. My room was formerly occupied by a 7-year old kid, who fancied pink for the walls. Fearful of the effect of staying in a pink room for too long, I finally decided to take action and color it pastel. Yes, pastel. A lime greenish tint. Its a step up.

I am chronicling, with pictures, my experience of painting the four walls of my room. I hope the pictures and step-by-step descriptions will be of help to anyone who should wish to paint their room.

Here's the album (I will keep updating it as I progress with the job):

Painting my room

Sep 24, 2006 - 26 Photos

Hiking the Sandwich Range in the White Mountains, NH

2006-09-19T07:53:00.000-05:00

On Sunday (September 17, 2006), I bagged two peaks in the Sandwich Range: Mt. Whiteface and Mt. Passaconaway. Both are just over 4,000ft. and our loop around the two peaks was about 11.6mi. Here are some pictures:

Sandwich Range

Sep 19, 2006 - 15 Photos

Mencken on America

2006-09-05T18:17:00.000-05:00

H. L. Mencken is one of my favorite American intellectuals. I, like many others, was shocked by his ability to put into searing words some of our darkest suspicions, and our most cynical opinions. I lived and studied in northern Italy for a period of six months before I came to America. Naturally, I compared, and still compare, the two experiences. I found America somewhat crass, and sometimes downright vulgar in sensibility, in comparison to Trento. I used to find it difficult to articulate the difference until I read this passage in Mencken's essay, "On Being an American":

And [in America], more than anywhere else I know of or have heard of, the daily panorama of human existence, of private and communal folly—the unending procession of governmental extortions and chicaneries, of commercial brigandages and throat-slittings, of theological buffooneries, of aesthetic ribaldries, of legal swindles and harlotries, of miscellaneous rogueries, villainies, imbecilities, grotesqueries and extravagances—is so inordinately gross and preposterous, so perfectly brought up to the highest conceivable amperage, so steadily enriched with an almost fabulous daring and originality, that only the man who was born with a petrified diaphragm can fail to laugh himself to sleep every night, and to awake every morning with all the eager, unflagging expectation of a Sunday-school superintendent touring the Paris peep-shows.

What is slightly unsettling about this passage is the fact that America's penchant for crass is not recent. This essay was written in 1922.

Another passage from an article written in 1920 in the Baltimore Sun is almost seer-like in its foresight, and certainly topical. Mencken speaks thus about candidates campaigning for national office:

The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.

The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

That great and glorious day, obviously, is upon us. It has been, since 2000. (Some would say it first dawned in 1980, when Reagan took office.) Note also, in the passage, the damning assessment of the "plain folk". To their credit, the "plain folk" of the time suffered Mencken's aspersions with a fair degree of tolerance, even wreathed him in laurels. It is doubtful they would, today. And that is a tragedy.

Sleepless in Somerville

2006-08-30T02:00:00.000-05:00

Its 1.30am. I get into bed. Every bone in my body screams out in relief. I am surprised. I didn't know I was tired. But now I feel weary as all get out. Must get sleep.

Its around 2.15am. I know because my notebook's screensaver came on sometime ago. Its set to start after a half hour of inactivity. It makes dull, pink patterns on the walls, and on the ceiling. I am still trying to sleep. But my mind is still too active. Its that new gaming rig I want to buy. I spent all evening researching it, and I am stoked.

2.30am. I had almost crossed over into sleep, but I am roused back up. A car alarm just went off. That is just great. Exactly what I need for sound sleep.

2.35am. The car alarm is still going off. It seems to be coming from a side street a couple of apartments down the street from mine. Its monotonous wail has not only snatched away what sleep I was slipping into, but now I am irritated. Irritation is not good for sleep.

Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a gunshot, accompanied by a flash of light. My heart starts pounding. Irritation has been replaced by fear. Someone shouts, "Get in the house!". A female voice responds, indistinct to me. "Get in the fucking house", the first voice screams again. I want to lean out the window and see what's happening, but I am afraid I will catch a stray bullet to the head. Sleep is a distant memory now. Second gunshot rings out. "Holy shit!", I am thinking. I hear my roommate stir in the other room.

A cop car, and some fire trucks are approaching the scene, as is evident from the flashing red and blue lights, and the distinctive sirens. Now, I am a bit emboldened. I lean out the window, and I can see smoke rising from that side street. I see a fireman standing nearby. From my partially obstructed view, I can also make out shadows of men moving about on the street. More activity.

I hear my roommate going out to investigate. He comes back, and I find out that a car parked on that street caught on fire. Each "gunshot" was apparently the sound of a tire popping from the heat. And the neighbor wanted his son to stay in the house, while he tried to make sense of what the hell was going on. That accounted for the shouting. But why the fuck did the car catch fire? I don't know. Arson, maybe? Faulty electricals?

Whatever the fuck it was, it made sure I am not getting any more sleep for a few more hours. At least I have a reason to get up late tomorrow. And yeah, its 3am now. Wish me good night.

BUDA Ultimate Disc Tournament

2006-08-12T19:04:00.000-05:00

I played in an Ultimate league organized by the Boston Ultimate Disc Alliance (BUDA). The flying disc used in the game is better known as Frisbee, which actually is a trademark. I have to say that Ultimate is, without exception, the sweetest sport I have played. Today was the tournament capping a season of league games, and Lava Mouse (my team) made it to the semi-finals. I didn't play because of an injury, the cause for which is too embarassing to mention here.

Pictures from the tournament are here:

BUDA Frisbee tournament

Aug 12, 2006 - 25 Photos

UPDATE: While browsing the Ultimate page on Wikipedia, I saw a picture of my team captain in the article! Gareth was the captain of Lava Mouse, and he is also the captain of Contra, the Ultimate team at Washington U. in St. Louis. The picture shows him making a layout over another guy in a bid for the disc. Neat!

Berkshire Camping Trip

2006-08-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a while. I have been out most weekends, and last weekend was a particularly sweet one. I was out camping in the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts, and I went tubing for the first time. Tubing is pretty fucking sweet. I also saw the Boston Symphony Orchestra (BSO) in concert in Tanglewood (Lenox, MA). Check out pictures from the camping trip here:

Berkshire Camping Trip

Aug 8, 2006 - 17 Photos

W. T. F. ?

2006-07-03T16:02:00.000-05:00

Look at the spike in traffic to my blog over the last week (25 June 2006 - 1 July 2006):

Image modified from one supplied by Statcounter (statcounter.com)

All of that spike has been caused by Australians, who seem to be looking for information on "the big brother incident", and the various search engines are sending them to my post about my encounter with the FBI.

Hey, Australia, what's with the sudden interest in the works of Orwell? Or is this just a sign of the times we live in, where the government snoops on everything from your phone conversations, to your financial records?

Adventures with Brian Dean

2006-06-24T13:27:00.002-05:00

Brian and I visited his parents' in upstate New York over the weekend. Upstate New York knows - Saratoga Springs in particular - knows how to party, let me tell you. Not many pictures from that time, sorry, since I was pretty hammered myself. But it was also a nice holiday, with a backyard pool, barbecue, and badminton games.

A week before that, I visited Brian's place in New Bedford, where he hosted a party. The next day, over very pleasant rum smoothies, I ripped some music from Brian's unterminably huge CD collection ...

Update: It appears that pictures of Brian that I posted here and on my Tabblo webpage are being misused. So, I am taking down all pictures of Brian and his family that I posted online. Brian, I really apologize for the inconvenience.

Earthfest (May 2006)

2006-06-21T19:45:00.000-05:00

Earthfest happened on May 28, 2006 at the Esplanade in Boston. It was a good time ... See my Tabblo>

Support the troops?

2006-06-11T22:08:00.000-05:00

Many Americans are very patriotic. While I think patriotism is an overrated virtue, I can live with it. But some Americans are too much so. If you live in the US, you can't escape one of the most visible expressions of empty nationalism, the "Support The Troops" bumper sticker. On a daily basis, I see people driving SUV's -- each as big as a house and probably guzzling enough gas to light up Baghdad for a day -- with these bumper stickers on the back. I can not think of a more vacuous expression of support.

Does the army deserve unconditional support? Even when they massacre innocent civilians by the dozens? Granted that the civilians in this case were from Haditha, Iraq, who don't count (About 3000 American soldiers are dead. The most conservative estimate for the number of Iraqi deaths since the "liberation" of Iraq is upwards of 60,000). It is undeniable that at the lowest level, it is self-interest that motivates people to voice their "support" for the poor troops, who do their fighting for them, while they go on watching American Idol.

It is this same self-serving and nationalistic sentiment that is being exploited by those in power to malign critics (witness the Valerie Plame leak), introduce fascist legislation like wiretapping people's conversations, spying on journalists, and so on, all in the name of national security.

One of the most disturbing instances of this came recently when a German citizen, Khaled al-Masri, filed a lawsuit in the US for being mistakenly held by the CIA in Afghanistan for almost half a year, and "renditioned" ("beaten, sodomized and repeatedly questioned about alleged terrorist ties"). A federal judge acknowledged that he was wrongfully held, and "has suffered injuries" and "deserves remedies". But the Justice Department invoked a "state-secrets" clause to force the judge to throw out the lawsuit because of the "grave danger" it posed. When individual safety begins to be compromised in the name of a larger interest--national security is only a mask it wears--we know we are entering a totalitarian atmosphere. As a libertarian, I find this revolting and scary.

A less grave, yet equally stupid instance of what I call language nationalism is the call for making English the national and official language of the US. George Will, a columnist for the Washington Post, wants legislation to stop ballots in heavily Hispanic areas from being bilingual. He argues in his column "A Vote for English" that the "civic conversation" in America can only be understood if you speak English.

Hey, genius George, although it is debatable (civilly, of course), let me take for granted the existence of the nation's civic conversation. But you do know there is such a thing as translation, don't you? I am pretty sure that Spanish (for instance) can accomodate equally well any idea that can be expressed in English, if not better. As for your typically conservative paranoia about "the national identity becoming attenuated" due to immigration, Spanish is the fastest growing language in the United States. In a few decades, if not sooner, it will be as widely spoken as English. In other words, Spanish will very soon be a part of the national identity of the United States, if not already. Not recognizing this reality, and imposing your idiotic views on everyone else is symptomatic of the jingoism I am talking about.

Winner of award for biggest tool of May, 2006: George Will. Runners-up: people who think its cool to use IM-type English ("u r so hot lol!!!") in all written communication.

A Visit to Needham Appraisal, Cambridge, MA

2006-06-04T20:10:00.000-05:00

I mentioned previously that my car was involved in a collision -- guy on a motorbike rear-ended me. My insurance company recommended a place where I could get an appraisal for the damages to my car. So I go to this place on Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge: Needham Appraisal.

Needham Appraisal is run by two aged Italian men, who I will call Vinny and Tony. They were the kind who apply more olive oil to their hair than you need to run an Asian massage parlor. Mind you, they were nice guys. Vinny was sitting at a computer, playing hangman, and Tony was smoking. In fact, Tony didn't stop smoking for the whole duration I was there (about half an hour), not even to talk.

I noticed the hangman game that Vinny was deeply engrossed in. He wore thick glasses, with thicker frames, and was peering into a thick dictionary open in front of him. The partially completed word in the game was:

_ A _ A I S T

I knew immediately what the word was, but he apparently didn't. He was down to two chances, and he still had about half the alphabet unused. Sweat was pouring down his forehead. Shit was tense. I said, "Try 'D'". He looked up from the computer at me with a mixture of hope and suspicion. He wiped the sweat off his brow, and entered "D" in, not having a better option. After about a good second, the computer said, "You Win! DADAIST is the correct answer!" At that, Vinny jumped up, exultant, took my hands in his, and pumped them in gratitude, shouting repeatedly, "Thank you! You saved my life!" I was bemused. I was thinking, "Dude, its only a game of hangman!"

Tony was apparently the appraiser. I led him out to my car, and he came, cigarette dangling from his mouth, and a camera from his neck. He walked around my car and took pictures. Tony was not only old, he also looked so frail he could be on the endangered species list. I was afraid the flash from the camera might shock him into a stroke, and indeed make him extinct. Somehow, that didn't come to pass, and I drove away with my car appraised.

Birthday blues, again

2006-05-28T19:14:00.000-05:00

I turned 25 this week. I previously wrote about how birthdays are not exactly a time for celebration as I see them. This one is particularly not. Turning 25 is depressing. You'll start putting on weight even if you eat just a carrot a day, you'll start losing hair where you want them, and gaining hair where you don't. You are not exactly "young" anymore. If you're Indian, your parents might greet you on arrival with a "suitable girl", whom you've never met before, but whom you're supposed to marry anyway. Not to mention your relatives, who, you suddenly find out, number in the millions.

Recently, I had the distinctly painful experience of calling 911 again -- the second time in less than a month. The reason this time: a guy on a Suzuki motorbike rear-ended my car. I had taken my bike (bicycle) out to get to work that day, but it had a flat tire (yes, again). So, I put the bike back in the garage, and drove the car. According to my insurance agency, since I was not liable, I don't need to pay "anything". But the pain of getting the car appraised, filing police reports, talking to insurance agents, and getting the actual damage fixed is payment enough. And my parking ticket count stands at 7, since March. It feels like my life is an object lesson in how everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Shashank's tech speculation for the month: Google Photo from Google (gPhoto is already taken) -- an easy to use web application for hosting photos ala flickr -- that ties in with Picasa (which Google acquired) and the rest of Google's growing suite of web applications. This is hope, more than speculation, brought on by my frustration with the upload limits on flickr's free accounts, which flickr treats like an anemic stepchild. I uploaded about 8 photos (each about 2 Mb) at the beginning of this month, and I can't upload anymore for this month! That is ridiculous, considering that with Google's Gmail (and many other email providers), you can send potentially unlimited numbers of emails of size 10Mb each. Bad, bad, flickr.

Viva la France!

2006-05-22T00:30:00.000-05:00

Updated with better layout.

I finally got my fix of France. I visited Paris from May 10 through May 14. I stayed at a youth hostel in the lively Montmartre district. A few blocks from my hostel is the seedy red light district of Pigalle, with the legendary cabaret: Moulin Rouge, and about a thousand sex shops. With some guys I met at the hostel, I ventured out to Pigalle every night of my stay, and took in the sights, smells and sounds, among them a million hookers, and the Museum of the Erotic -- which turned out to simply be a very, very big sex shop, with inhouse hookers. If nothing else, I had some fine pastry in one of the boulangeries, which are inexplicably numerous in Pigalle. Sex and pastry go well together, apparently...

Arun (seen here at the Arc de Triomphe), who goes to school close to Stuttgart, kindly flew out to Paris for the duration of my visit, so I had good company. Arun and I went to Versailles, which turned out to be a pretty unremarkable visit.

I was initially a bit intimidated as I had heard of how Parisians are famously derisive of people who don't speak French. Dom had told me of his French experience: he was in Paris for a total of 10 minutes and he managed to get punched in the face by a Frenchman, apparently for cutting a line at the airport. After the first two nights, I was beginning to feel right at home in Paris, riding the Metro like a pro, ordering at restaurants, and using my French vocabulary of about 5 words (fromage, merde, parlay, vous, anglais) with great flourish; it was all cool. Then, I stepped on this guy's toes in a crowded Metro train, and bam--he punched me in the back. So much for the friendliness. Luckily he got off soon enough, and it didn't turn any uglier.

Shashanka (seen here at the Eiffel tower with others from the hostel), who was also in Paris for a conference, connected with us in the evenings. We visited the usual tourist destinations: the Eiffel tower (spectacular), the Arc de Triomphe (imagine Delhi's India Gate, only bigger), the Notre Dame (yet another church), the Louvre (more art than you want, notwithstanding the Mona Lisa), among them. We also tried the local cuisine (French Onion Soup, roast duck, poulet roti etc.), although it was virtually impossible to get any service from the highly incompetent waiters at the cafes in Paris. The lazy bastards know they have crazy job security, and they work as little as possible.

The Eiffel Tower, in black and white. Quite easily the single most spectacular thing I have seen. Courtesy my Canon Powershot S2 IS.

Finally, my hostel. The most favorable thing I can say about it is that it had character. I booked a 3-bed dorm online, but I was assigned to a 6-bed dorm, which was about the size of a matchbox. The shower was basically a hole up in the wall from which water trickled, if it felt like it. The upper bunk beds were so creaky and loosely made that just breathing while lying down on them made them swing like Frankie Manning. Room service lost my towel on the first day. Lesson learned: never take a towel the same color as the hotel towels. In summary, if you are going to stay in Paris, the pompously named le Village is not the best option for you. On the upside, the other 5 occupants of my room were these winsome British girls who didn't think anything of changing in front of me. Not that I complained.

Gothika

2006-05-03T20:24:00.000-05:00

So, I can bet that most of you didn't have half as exciting a weekend as I had. After all, how many of you almost got arrested for driving a 250-pound, drunk Goth woman on Saturday, and then biked 50 exhausting miles on Sunday?

It all started on Saturday evening. I met my friend Brian and Kara, his friend from church, at Christopher's -- a rather good restaurant/bar in Somerville. Kara is middle-aged, a former Goth, and a born-again Christian. She seemed to be clinging to her Gothic roots, in costume at least. When I shook hands with her, I was pricked in at least 50 different places because of all the spiky ornamentation she had covering every square inch of her hands.

Kara was pretty smashed by the time I joined them. She claimed she could drink anybody under the table. "I'm half Irish, and half Scottish", she claimed. However, within the hour, we were asked to leave Toad (next door to Christopher's), because Kara passed out near the restrooms. So much for her illustrously capacious heritage, I thought. It was decided by all gathered, that she should be taken home, before further damage to public property could occur. It took five grown men to finally put her in the backseat of my car. It was about midnight then.

At this point, Brian and I just wanted to get her home, and go back to Toad, where the music was pretty good, although our exit from Toad was quite embarassing. But Fate deemed otherwise. Kara had had at least 10 drinks that night (some Sex on the Beach, many Dirty Bastards). Halfway to her place, however, what I had been dreading all along transpired. She started getting sick. Real bad. She puked all over herself. And then on my backseat. Brian and I groaned. I decided I couldn't let her vandalize my car anymore, her wellbeing be damned. Did I mention that I am a heartless son of a bitch? So, I pulled up to the curb, and asked her to finish her business outside the car. In retrospect, that was a bad idea.

Kara managed to open the car door, but instead of stepping on to the curb, she just fell out of the car. Afraid to see what actually happened to her, we stepped out too, and went around curbside. Kara, all 250-pounds of her, was stuck in between the rear wheel of the car and the curb. If I moved the car front, she would be crushed. I couldn't move the car back either, because the backdoor, which was open, would then smash her face. And she was still going strong with the puking. I can only imagine what it looked like to passersby: A stopped car with its hazard lights on. A rather sick, obese woman dressed in black, stuck beneath the rear wheel, and two men trying to pull her out of there.

This went on for some time, after which Brian and I realized the futility of trying to move our very drunk Gothika. I decided to call 911. A trooper showed up soon enough, and first thing he did: give me a sobriety test. I had to walk in a straight line, follow his fingers with my eyes, stand on one foot, and count up to an unspecified number. He actually let me go after I got to 55. I had just had a couple beers, so I was sufficiently sober. But the irony of possibly being arrested for drunken driving while trying to help another drunk didn't escape me.

Mr. Trooper had also called for an ambulance, so help was on the way. But the stupid ambulances kept missing the exit ramp just past us, and the nearest exits in either direction were about 3 miles. So, I saw two ambulances go past us on the adjacent highway, only to get to us about a half hour later. In the meanwhile, our drunk lady companion had regained a semblance of consciousness. Not coherence, though. She started flipping the finger at the trooper, and his car, and asked him to "shut those blinding fucking lights off". To his credit, the cop retained his composure. I am not sure I would be so kind to her if I were him.

Finally, one ambulance arrived. Another cop car actually had to "escort" this ambulance to the right exit, to get to us. Fantastic. By this time, Kara was actually able to move, and hallelujah... she rolled over to the curb, leaving my car free! I had half a mind then to just drive the fuck away from all of this. The EMT team had one look at her, and knew she was good to go. Considerately enough, they gave me some sheets, and a towel, to spread over my backseat, in case of further spillage. But it was too late. My car was already smelling like Calcutta after the rains.

The two cops, the two EMT guys, Brian and me lifted Kara back into my car. I thanked the cops, and the EMT guys, and then wasted no time in driving Kara to her place. Brian and I drove to my place in silence. At my place, we got some Lysol and some cloth, and tried to clean the puke on the backseat. This was at 2.30am. A cop car doing the rounds slowed down past us, twice. I am sure they were nonplussed by two guys wiping the stains of something off the backseat of a car late at night. Fortunately, they didn't stop to ask. I won't bother you with the nightmares I had while I slept that night.

The next day, Sunday, was infinitely less fucked up, although it was tiring. I biked to Lake Cochituate with my roommate Yves. It was a good 25-mile ride each way. Confirming that my life is basically an illustration of Murphy's Law, my bike's rear tire punctured about 2 miles from the lake. And this after I had changed the tube just two days previously. Fortunately, there was a bike shop not far from the lake where Yves found a patch kit, and we patched the bike up. Somehow, the patch held on the bike ride home. Strange.

Little Grey: Big pussy

2006-04-16T11:28:00.000-05:00

Little Grey: Big pussy, originally uploaded by shashankr.

I live with three cats; three cats with the most unimaginative names ever: Blackie, Little Grey, and Big Grey.

Funnily enough, Little Grey is the biggest pussy of the three, figuratively speaking of course. The slightest disturbance will send her flying to hide in the basement.

Notice in the picture how she is trying to blend into the grey carpet, as I try to get her picture with my new camera.

Little Grey has gotten friendlier with me over time, though. She now deigns to let me pet her head on occasion. I love her, too.

On America: 5 Likes, 5 Dislikes

2006-04-09T21:37:00.000-05:00

I have been back in the US two weeks now, and I have had four parking tickets issued, including two in the span of an hour and a half, and the last one on a Monday morning, right in front of my house--because I didn't move the car for street cleaning. At this rate, I will be penniless in a year. As if that isn't bad enough, I locked my sorry ass out my car, and had to pay some stranger (okay, a locksmith) close to 200 bucks to break into my car for me.

Now that I poured me heart out, laddies, its time for lighter matters. I have been in the US for close to three years now. Understandably, I have formed some likes and dislikes during my stay here. I list them here.

5 things I like about America

Free speech: The President of the US is mocked almost routinely by the people, without fear of retribution (and with good reason, in my opinion). In North Korea, you could get killed for farting in the general direction of Kim Jong-il (or whatever the fuck his name is). These days, this fundamental right is being eroded in various fashions, but by and large, this country is still pretty "free".
Innovation: It took me a while to get used to the "can-do" attitude of Americans. I have never seen a people as practical as the Americans. Not the dull theory of books for the American, but rather, a box of tools with which to build cars, cities, and highways.
Great TV shows: The Sopranos (HBO), Deadwood (HBO), The Wire (HBO) and The West Wing (NBC). If you want non-sensational yet engaging, nuanced TV, watch these shows for endless hours of TV bliss.
Apple Computer: I <3 Mac. Thoughtful design, willingness to take risks, innovation, and superb aesthetics are hallmarks of my favorite computer maker. Or, should I say media giant now?
New York City: An ode to the Big Apple is a post by itself, but suffice it to say that I like everything about it. Listen to Frank Sinatra's version of "New York, New York".
Mary-Louise Parker: The Counting Crows wrote "Butterfly in Reverse" for this woman. I am currently Head Priest of the Church of Mary-Louise. Her performance as Amy Gardner in West Wing is one of the most thoughtful, intelligent portrayals of any woman on screen, in my humble opinion. Strike that, I am pretty darn sure it is.

I know that's six things I like about America, but so what? Sue me.

Bonus: 50 Cent, Slate Magazine, Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Connelly, and mutant army dolphins with frickin' lasers attached to their head.

5 Things I dislike about America

US foreign policy: Vietnam is still Communist (Not that that is a bad thing; I only seek to indicate the futility of US intervention in that country). So is North Korea. Iraq has been shocked and awed out of existence, almost (33,814 civilian deaths, and counting). Parts of Afghanistan are slowly sliding into Taliban control. Fidel Castro is still around, while 8 US Presidents have come and gone.
Dick Cheney (and company): In my opinion, Vice President Dick Cheney is the face of evil. The man exudes nastiness. Not only is the man evil, he enjoys being so. After Cheney shot him, his hunting partner apologized to Cheney for his troubles with the media. I almost expected Cheney to say, "It was the right thing to do". I wonder if that guy's human.
Fads: The excessive obsession with pill popping, health foods, yoga, tai-chi, and countless others I haven't even heard of. I made my clear my opinion on one of these fads in another post. Can't sleep? Can't shit? Have a hangover? Can't get it on? Pop a pill, man. I am sick of people calculating how many calories, carbs, vitamins and protiens their dish contains. Everything I see in stores is advertised to be organic, low-cal and low-carb. Why then, is it that Americans are the most obese people in the world?
Microsoft. Period.
The lack of fresh fruit juice: In Bangalore, on pretty much every street corner, and in most restaurants, you can find shops that sell fresh fruit juice. And by that, I mean its made right in front of you. Here, "fresh" juice is at least a week old. I concede its refrigerated, etc. But its simply not the same.

Bonus: Fox News, Jesus-freaks, RIAA, MPAA, baseball, Hummers, campy cinema from Hollywood.

Now that I have dissed the Veep, can I expect some FBI thugs on my ass again?

If You're Thinking of Flying (Economy), Think Again

2006-03-06T00:30:00.000-05:00

Judging from the last few posts, it seems like my blogging instincts are best triggered when I travel. I am starting to write this on my flight to India. Just a few hours back, I stepped onto the plane in Boston and took one of the cramped seats in economy with no legroom, with armrests that wouldn't move. As I strapped my seat belt on, I had ominous visions of being strapped on to an electric chair. Why, it soon became clear.

I had developed a cold yesterday. Now, this cold was the kind that gives you a running nose: a nose that runs more copiously than the Nile. I purchased three Kleenex packs, and sure enough, by half the flight, I had run through two of them. This cold was also the kind that gives you headaches and body-aches. Add that type of thing when you are trapped in a seat and can barely move, and the results are lethal: in fact, Guantanamo would be a breeze after this. If you want your terrorist to talk, expose him to common cold, strap him onto one of the economy seats on an international flight, and let him fly for, may be, two days. See if he doesn't spill his guts out.

I started feeling feverish after a while. I feared I might have contracted the bird-flu. As I fitfully slept, I had nightmares of waking up and coughing and spraying blood and viruses all over the other passengers, and then being quarantined in Amsterdam. I also realized I had to take a crap. Blame it on my stern upbringing, or call me stuck-up (as it were), but I am one of those squeamish folks who simply can't go in an airplane. So, in addition to my already nightmarish situation, I was now constipated. Just peachy.

Flying to India is like the journey of Moses and his people to the land of Canaan. Its long, arduous, and a great test of resilience. The Jews at least had their manna from heaven. All I got was undercooked schezuan chicken. My flight schedule looked like this: 8-hr flight to Amsterdam from Boston, 3-hr stopover; an 8-hr flight from Amsterdam to Mumbai, and then a stopover for 6.5-hrs; finally, a 2-hr flight to Bangalore. That's over 26 hours in transit.

Having reached Amsterdam without actually dying, or killing other people with my bird-flu virus, I was feeling a tiny bit better. Optimistic even, that with the worst behind me, I would make it. But my heart sank to the floor as I entered the KLM flight to Mumbai. The legions of seats were even more cramped than those on my earlier flight, if that were possible. It's like KLM decided to treat people flying to India (which translates to: Indians, mostly) a bit differently on their flights. The earlier flight at least had individual TV screens. The "in-flight entertainment" on this plane, however, consisted of images beamed onto the wall in front of the first rows of seats from a projector. What are we, in the 70's? Why this disparity, I ask the airlines.

I was feeling slighted (by the conditions on the plane), and debilitated (by the cold). Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, my ear, which was acting up because of the cold, started hurting as the plane changed altitudes. This was not the dull, throbbing pain I very rarely get when I have problems with air pressure at higher altitudes. This was like someone took a screwdriver and inserted it into my right ear to see how far it would go. Within minutes, involuntary tears were running down my face. I felt this urge to unbuckle myself, and storm out of the plane. Just as I reached the limits of my tolerance to pain, the hurting stopped. I collapsed, as much as that was possible, back into my seat, and almost passed out. I then slept -- long and hard. I woke up and was deaf in the right ear. As I write this, hearing has still not returned to my right ear.

As we approached Mumbai, I suddenly started feeling a sense of camaraderie with my fellow travelers: we had made it together! Then, I realized: it was not all over yet. I had the return journey in a couple of weeks. Best not to think of it until I had to experience yet. If I have my way, I will never again fly. At least, not economy.

Oh, Canada

2006-02-18T17:50:00.000-05:00

Its been a while since I last blogged. Not that I have a dedicated readership that's waiting with bated breath for my next post. It seems like my posting frequency has somehow found a happy equilibrium: a post a month. That suits me fine.

I am currently sitting at Boston's Logan International Airport, waiting to go to Ottawa, Canada, where I have my visa interview on Monday. The plan is to hang in Montreal, Canada over the weekend. By all accounts, Montreal is the bomb. An airline attendant at Logan said its a "Paris of sorts... except for the Eiffel Tower". Well, I'm going to find out first hand. I am looking forward to have fun in Montreal, but the weather up there is not exactly balmy. Its going to stay around -18C all through my stay.

If you have been following the news at all, you have heard about Muslims getting up in arms about cartoons that don't exactly depict the Prophet Muhammed as the Messaiah. Now, being an atheist who hates religions in general, that doesn't bother me in the slightest bit. The way I see it, free speech means exactly that: Freedom to criticize another religion. This criticism can be expressed in any manner: satire, performance art, or whatever else, as long as you don't hurt another person physically.

I read that Tony Blair (and other world readers) is (are) considering outlawing the criticism of all religions. Not only is that a kneejerk reaction, it is also plain wrong. What about people like me who are not only not religious, but also hate religion? I'd rather like to see people escape the clutches of what Karl Marx called the "opiate of the masses", what Rob Heinlein called an "outdated concept" (that's religion, for the slower ones among you). With this in mind, I fully support the Danish cartoonists' right to create those cartoons, although I might not agree with the content of those cartoons.

Religion is something I have always strongly felt about. I continue to be amazed by the irrationality of a mankind that believes in a concept that is utterly unprovable. Its quite a remarkable feat for religious institutions to have sustained, and even enhanced the power and influence of the god-machine. In my most virulent mood, I'd say that God is a weight tied around your neck, a ghost from the fog of ancient history, a bogeyman, if you will. In its existence, the burgeoning institution of religion has produced more book-burning Savonarolas ¹ than Mendels; more Crusades and Inquisitions than Renaissances.

Update #1: I am at the Montreal train station, waiting to get back to Ottawa. I now realize why the airline attendant in Boston who I mentioned earlier called Montreal a "Paris of sorts". Its because everybody speaks French, and French only. Its like I was in fucking Europe. Which I don't mind so much, as the language barrier. And the Cold. Man, was it cold! After 10 min. out in -15 C, my finger tips went numb beneath the new gloves which I paid CAD $12 for. After half an hour, I couldn't feel my nose. My legs were frigid under my jeans long since.

Luckily, old Montreal had an underground "city" of sorts. There are shopping complexes, restaurants, and even a fountain that shoots up a spout of water 50 feet high, all underground. Pretty cool. I'd take any respite from the cold. The fountain was a bonus. And the girls were real pretty.

I am a bit tense about the visa interview tomorrow. Pretty much everyone I know has had no problems with it, and I have the required documentation. I even bought a pair of pants from Kenneth Cole for CAD $100. But if by any chance I don't get the visa, I can't get back to the US. I will have to return to India, book another interview, and enter the US only if that interview is successful. So, that's a bit heavy.

Update # 2: The visa interview turned out to be a fucking anticlimax. I got the visa, no problem. I am finally on my way back to the US, after what turned into a mini-vacation in Canada. While in Ottawa, I did another thing that I can add to a very short list of achievements I am proud of: I ice-skated on the world's longest ice-rink. This is an 8 km monster of an ice-rink right in the center of the city. I wanted to do some downhill skiing/snowboarding here, but with the recent snowstorm in Boston and the rest of the Northeast, I shouldn't have a problem doing it once I reach home. Yep, this weekend is for that. Come rain, snow or sunshine. Actually, sunshine would be good.

Update #3: I'm chilling at home.

The Orwellian Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, had the balls to exhort people to use non-traditional media to fight terror. This, from a man who doesn't even use email. America, good luck with the already dubious "war" on terror, with this guy in charge.

¹Regular readers note my obsession with Savonarola.

On Florida. And some currents.

2006-01-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

My words of wisdom to my cousin, who bought his first Macintosh, the 14" iBook: "Once you go Mac, you never go back".

My cousin and I are strolling down this seaside mall/entertainment center in Tampa, and we see a couple of men of Latino descent hauling a big stereo system by hand, across the road. What do we do? We get all suspicious that they stole it. And what do we call it? 'Stereo'-typing.

Later, I am waiting for my return flight to Boston from Tampa. I am pleasantly surprised to see Tampa International offer free wireless access to waiting passengers who otherwise sit in their multitudes at airports across the world, staring vacantly into space, like they're on a big hit.

But then, the homepage for Tampa International Airport opens up, and prominently displays the highly Orwellian Homeland Security threat level, which has constantly been set at Elevated -- like a pressure cooker that is on the edge of blowing up, but doesn't.

On the plane, I have the window seat. A lady from Madrid, Spain, is sitting next to me. She talks non-stop with me all through the flight -- 3 hours. By itself, this wouldn't be so bad (she was around 30, but kinda hot), if she wasn't also married, and if her husband wasn't also sitting in the middle row across the aisle. Said husband is worried I am making a move on the wife (I'd have tried to, if she wasn't married, or if the husband wasn't on the plane), so he keeps looking back at us every five minutes, making me uncomfortable. The wife is oblivious to this. Oh, and she is loud.

Our plane is flown by Captain Carlos. That cracks me up for some reason. Captain Carlos!

**My two latest...**
TV Shows	Scrubs (NBC), Season 1
TV Shows	Entourage (HBO), Season 2
Books	Silmarillion (Tolkien)
Books	Tales of Discworld (Pratchett)
Songs	Hey Nineteen (Steely Dan)
Songs	New York, New York (Frank Sinatra)
Movies	Bonnie & Clyde (1967)
Movies	Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Naomi, oh Naomi!

2005-12-12T21:34:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: I haven't seen King Kong, nor do I want to. Will I actually see it, though? The answer is: yes, probably.

A friend from graduate school--let's call him Chris--had some of the strongest opinions of anyone I have known, about movies. And one of those opinions was his low regard for the big-studio Hollywood movie. Yet, paradoxically, he was the first guy to see the latest cliched blockbuster at the only cineplex in seedy Providence, RI. He would, admittedly, come back and diss the movie in discussions with me. However, after hearing that Naomi Watts was slated to star in King Kong, I'm sure he contemplated suicide at the betrayal. Naomi, the light of his life, sold out to the man!

Chris introduced Naomi Watts to me in graduate school; it was David Lynch's excellent 2001 cult noir thriller Mulholland Dr. I was so taken by her performance, that I still think of the real Naomi to be like her character from the movie: Betty/Diane, a delicate flower that needed to be sheltered from this cruel world, lest it break its own neck in a strong gale. Since then, I had enjoyed her performances in suitably 'weighty' dramas: We Don't Live Here Anymore, 21 Grams, and... yes, even I Heart Huckabees. I felt proud of my Naomi when the critics appreciated her in these roles.

When I first heard of the new King Kong movie, my reaction, while a little less drastic than my friend's, was an unhappy one as well. It is heartbreaking to see Naomi involved in a movie with the unlikely premise of doomed love between a gorilla and a woman. A 10-story tall gorilla, at that, for C(h)ris-sake! Sure, former horror movie-maker Peter Jackson intended it a "loving" homage to the 1933 "classic". But to call it "exalted" movie making, as the usually dependable A.O. Scott of the New York Times does, is mistaken. One should recognize it for what it is: an oversized, overpriced remake of an old movie, which will turn into a money-making franchise just in time for the holidays, aided by big marketing blitzkreig (Take cover! Here come the Kong cereal boxes (those again!), Kong the video game, Kong the candy bar (already out: Crunch'N Win Kong), Kong you-name-it). Oh, wait--I also forgot the other convenience of releasing the movie now: its Oscar-season! Wonderful.

Its "milk the cow for all its worth" all over again. What is disappointing is to see Naomi being involved in such un-inventive enterprise, which, I feel, is beneath her abilities. Here's wishing that Naomi returns to making intelligent cinema again. Now, excuse me, for I have to look for tickets to the next showing of King Kong at my local cineplex.

Anaconda vs. Gator

2005-10-05T16:58:00.000-05:00

Anaconda vs. Gator (from the BBC)

That python ate up an entire alligator, and promptly burst into pieces. Shite! Click here to read the BBC article.

Eulogy for Dave Chappelle

2005-09-17T22:36:00.001-05:00

Tuesday was a sad, sad day. I read somewhere that Dave Chappelle might never again work his show on Comedy Central again. Charlie Murphy, co-star on that phenomenally brilliant show said so in an interview. Well, fuck you, Charlie - for bringing me that piece of news. I was devastated. Since then, I have fallen into a kind of gentle, private depression. I guess its going to be just reruns for me, then. Well, there's always another viewing of the Popcopy episode, or the Black Bush episode.

Have you watched that Mind of Mencia show on CC? Some people I know seem to think its great, but to me it seemed just crude, mediocre and lackluster. The Chappelle show was crude as well (e.g., the mudbutt episode, or that one, where Dave, as R Kelly, splashed doo doo around from a can), but it was almost always clever, and always funny. Inspired and incisive satire. No such thing with Mencia.

In other news, after three months of trying out Netflix, I unsubscribed -- a little unsatisfied with them. Not that you really care why, but read on anyway, motherfuckers:

The Netflix choke-hold: Initially, they were all over themselves to ship their DVD's -- movies at my door next day. For a whole month. After that, it was like someone choked their distribution. One movie actually took a week to ship.
Having a completely inflexible missing DVD system: When a DVD they shipped didn't arrive at my place, I reported this to them. What happens next? They place it on a 'missing list'; two more such missing items, and my account is toast! That is bullshit, because I was penalized for something I had no control over.

Something else is bothering me. News articles about completely obvious findings from studies. Like:

Youth who repeatedly watch filmstars smoke are three times more likely to pick up smoking than youth who don't. Oh shit! Really? Thanks for clearing that up. Couldn't have figured that one out.
Hurricanes Have Gotten Stronger and Faster In the Last Decade. This completely startling discovery was reported in the respected journal Science. Scientists attribute it to increasing global warming. But they are not completely sure. I, for one, will keep my ears tuned for more news on this front.

Looking at these reports, I am tempted to add a few of my own scientific-sounding 'findings':

'Insert-your-favorite-endangered-species-here' Closer to Extinction, New Study Finds. Scientists Suspect Deforestation.
World Population Set to Increase in 2006, Scientists Find.

Fuck you all. And, peace.

Katrina! Show me your titties!

2005-09-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

So, Katrina happened. After that title (did you get it? I know its not in good taste, but heck, its funny!), I guess it is a bit pointless for me to say how horrified I am at the surrealness of the whole situation. Five days ago, it was just another hurricane with a pretty-girl name blowing in from the forever-choppy Atlantic. Now, it is the biggest natural disaster to hit the South in a long time.

I couldn't help but notice that the majority of the people affected were poor. And black. I also couldn't help but notice that for the first three or four days, the news networks on cable (CNN, Fox, MSNBC) carefully avoided mentioning that fact and acted color-blind. In today's PC world, news anchors are probably afraid of slipping up and doing a Campanis¹ that could end their career. But ignoring that fact completely is akin to not acknowledging the proverbial elephant in the room. And the longer you stay in said room, the harder it becomes to miss said elephant.

Apparently, Wolf Blitzer, over at CNN, found it impossible to miss the elephant. Quoting him,

... as Jack Cafferty just pointed out, so tragically, so many of these people, almost all of them that we see, are so poor and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold.

What do you mean, Wolf..? Like, not Prince black, but Charlie Murphy black? Its like Blitzer not only decided to acknowledge the elephant, but proceeded to beat it with sticks.

¹ Al Campanis, who was at one time, the GM of the LA Dodgers, went on Nightline in 1987, and educated Ted Koppel on the absence of blacks at the higher echelons of executive-dom. According to him, blacks might not have "some of the necessities" it takes to manage a major league team or a similar high-powered position, for the same reason that they aren't "good swimmers". The reason: they "lack buoyancy". His tenure as the GM of the Dodgers ended immediately afterwards.

In my ideal world...

2005-08-24T19:27:00.000-05:00

In general, I believe choice is a good thing. But over time, I have come to think that there are some things which ought to come without it. In my ideal world:

There would be only one ring-tone for cell phones. And that would be a no-nonsense old-school ringtone, just like that on a landline phone. Not Vivaldi's Four Seasons, or Sir Mix-a-Lot's I like Big Butts, or any other tune.
No one would use HTML to compose email messages. At least not to me. It makes me go jumping mad when I see multi-colored text in my email. It is irritating, distracting and makes the email less readable, defeating any purpose of using fancy fonts. I believe that if you can not put your point across in plain-text, you simply haven't given it enough thought.
Cell phones would be made only by Nokia/Ericsson. At least there wouldn't be no flip-phones -- the clam shell design.
Fruit juice would not come in mixed flavors. Nothing enrages me more than being disappointed in the supermarket every time I search for a carton of pineapple flavored juice. I see pine-orange-banana, pine-orange, pine-banana and many other exotic combinations, but I'll be damned if I find just pineapple. No, sir, no pinepple. I end up going nuts.

In other news, I just installed and started Apache on my home machine. Check out my brand new homepage. Its a sorry situation that Verizon blocks port 80 on residential connections. So, I had to resort to the horrendous 8080 figure. My photo gallery is also up. At the moment, it is empty. It should fill up in the coming days. Yet another way for you to waste some more time from your daily routines, meaningless as they are.

Intelligent design and `hot' yoga

2005-08-03T19:27:00.000-05:00

This is sort of old news, but y'all probably heard our beloved Dubya speaking out in support of intelligent design being taught to kids in school. This at a (quoting from the Washington Post), freewheelin', spirited news conference with Texas paper reporters. Sounds like Dubya felt right at home. In the midst of the uproar that ensued, his science adviser (what? he had one? yeah, only I suspect he hasn't had much to do since assuming that position) tried to smooth it out by clarifying that it was in a "social context" that the president meant intelligent design to be introduced in schools. That is swell, but why not also introduce kids to alternative sexual preferences (like, homosexuality) in the very same "social context"?

After that profound reflection, its time for more pop culture whoring. And what better to gripe about than that fad of all fads... yoga! I was reading an article where some hipster mentioned that he was into the latest manifestation in this genre - hot yoga. I didn't get it at first, but then I realized that it was a mangling of the term hata yoga (the hata rhymes with butter, if you will). Now, hata is a Sanskrit term used to describe a kind of obstinate, dogged persistence, which, combined with yoga, indicates the kind of physical activity that I usually associate with some yogi up in the Himalayas. I find it hard to believe that some jetsetting, capuccino/moolatte-sipping, Wall Street Journal-reading, yuppie could practice real hata yoga. Heck, I find it mighty unlikely that any consumerist American could. But then, isn't that what fads are all about...

Oops, in my zealousness to disparage fads, I forgot to Google hot yoga, just in case I missed something. Sure enough, when I Googled the term just after I wrote the previous paragraph, I found out that it was not mistaken for hata yoga (, although that sneaking suspicion lingers...). But wait, this hot yoga is apparently a sequence of some 26 asanas (positions) supposed to be performed at a balmy 106 F. Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

I should have signed off on that triumphant note, but I couldn't resist adding this bit of information. I was born in this sleepy little town called Mysore in Karnataka, India. Now, after 24 years, I learn that there is also a very popular style called Mysore yoga. Wonders never cease.

aligned_malloc() implementation

2005-07-10T17:09:00.000-05:00

Some posts ago, I mentioned that I was asked in a Microsoft interview how the so-called aligned_malloc() function could be implemented in C. Apparently, a lot of people want to know how. My blog used to show up in the first page of search results in a Google search of "aligned malloc". Since I hadn't updated my blog in a bit, Googlebot reduced the relevance of my page. So, my blog might not show up anymore, but I thought it might be of help in any case, to detail an implementation.

I recall that the signature of the desired function looks like this:

void *aligned_malloc( size_t nbytes, unsigned char align );

nbytes - number of bytes of memory required to be allocated,

If p is the pointer returned by aligned_malloc(), then:

p % align == 0,

i.e., p points to a memory address which is an integral multiple of align.

Note that the type of align is unsigned char, which means that we can get alignments of upto 255. Its possible for align to be an int (or a long int) also, but for ease of implementation, I chose its present type.

Firstly, it is important to realize that any implementation of this function should be accompanied by a corresponding version of free(), say, aligned_free(). What makes the implementation a bit tricky is ensuring the correctness of the working of aligned_malloc() and aligned_free() in tandem. The implicit constraint is that any book-keeping should be internal to the implementation. Roughly speaking, this means that you should be able to safely replace every balanced pair of malloc() and free() calls in your code with calls to aligned_malloc() and aligned_free().

I will propose a straightforward implementation -- it uses the system-specific malloc() call internally, and thereby, has pretty much the same performance as the malloc() call on your system. Before you look at my code, I would ask you to consider how you would do it yourself. With a little thought, you might come up with a simpler, more elegant way of doing it. Also, I am providing this code simply because I had nothing better to do one hot Sunday evening. And its received as much testing as I have had hot chicks. So, be careful about using it!

Finally, here is the C code for aligned_malloc():


void *aligned_malloc( size_t nbytes, unsigned char align ) {

  void *p;            /* pointer returned */
  unsigned char r;    /* p % align */
  unsigned char incr; /* actual increment to p */
  unsigned char *tmp;

  p = malloc( nbytes + align );

  r = (unsigned char) ( p % align );

  incr = align - r - 1;

  p += incr;

  /* bookkeeping: write the **increment** at { the address just before the return address } */
  tmp = (unsigned char *)p;
  *tmp = incr;

  p++;

  return p;
}

Could you make out what I am doing? The basic idea is to allocate extra memory. We advance the pointer returned by malloc() until it points to a memory address that is a multiple of align. But we need to keep track of how much we advanced, so that when aligned_free() is called, it knows how much to recede by, in order to free() all the memory that was allocated.

Now, can you finish this implementation by writing aligned_free()? It should be really simple. Like, 4 lines of code.

50 cent - trickster or lyrical genius?

2005-07-06T19:09:00.000-05:00

Disclaimers:

This is yet another article written by a bewildered desi on the subject of urban/hip-hop culture in America.
The article itself was thawed from cold storage, after I noticed the blog was dying. So, don't expect the usual high quality you have come to expect from this blog. Okay, now you know which way the rest of this post is going...

If you think 50 Cent is a certain amount of currency, or if you think that "In Da Club" is bad spelling for In The Club, then you are possibly a hermit crab living under an impossibly large rock.

50 Cent was my rather brisk initiation into the world of hip-hop and gangsta rap. The no-nonsense, in-your-face lyrics (e.g., Sir Mix-A-Lot happily proclaiming "I like big butts", and 50 Cent crooning "I'm just a squirrel lookin' for a slut with a nice butt, to get a nut") are a refreshing change from the sappy, unlikely ballads of other genres. That is, if you can make out the lyrics. These guys keep it real. And 50 Cent is, in my opinion, the most artful exponent of this genre. Okay, may be Snoop "Doggy" Dogg is up there too, but this sort of thing is exactly what feeds the East Coast vs. West Coast rivalry. Gangsta rappers are also the cowboys of our times, who shoot each other not with guns (well, okay... not only with guns), but with stinging lyrics. Recording studios like Aftermath (Dr Dre's creation), Death Row etc. play the part of dusty alleyways. At the end of the day, a handsome paycheck awaits, too.

So, there I was, quietly enjoying my 50 Cent records, when I came across this Slate article. According to the article, 50 Cent is just a wily, scheming thug from Queens, NY, who is not especially good at rapping. Well then, how come 50 Cent is the biggest name in the manically cut-throat hip-hop world today? The article's argument: clever marketing, staged feuds (most prominently with the artist currently known as The Game), and the mystique of the "I got shot 9 times and I survived. Bitch!" routine. I beg to differ. Anyone with half a brain can make out that 50 (pronounced fi-tee) is a gifted rapper, by doing as I did: listening to Get Rich or Die Tryin', 50's platinum album, all day, for a couple weeks.

You gotta try it. 50 Cent has an inimitable style of delivering his lines with a combination of restraint and ease. It's as if he hardly opens his mouth, yet the lyrics keep coming smooth. This style is nowhere as effective as on my personal favorite, 21 Questions. If the haunting synth doesn't plant itself in your brain after a while, then the absolutely addictive beats of In Da Club will. Now, I can't wait to drop my shit, and go ghetto. 50 has given me a whole new outlook about life, where basically three things matter: guns, bitches and drugs. Wait, how could I forget: bling. If you wanna roll like a gangsta, you gotta have them spinning, flashy rims on your wheels, yo.

While the genre is still young, and is a little rough at the edges, there is no doubt in my mind that gangsta rap is the way to go. It should be played on PA systems in schools. Students will learn invaluable lessons in keepin' it real, fo' sho'. If you can't see that, you a wanksta. If you can, you in da hood, homie.

Hiking - useful hints

2005-06-17T21:26:00.000-05:00

I recently hiked Mt Washington in New Hampshire. Mt Washington, apparently, is the tallest peak in the Northeast. It was my first backpacking trip, and a great one at that! I will leave out a description of the two day hike of the mountain and the surrounding wilderness for another time. For now, I will try and list a bunch of useful things to do and take with you if you are planning something similar, and you are new to it. I was lucky in that on my first hike, we had one very experienced hiker, who has hiked 8 National parks, and dozens of State parks. Quite frankly, he saved our asses on this hike.

If you want your hiking experience to be Good, then you need to plan for it: travel light, travel right. Don't lug unnecessary shit along in your backpack. When all you do for hours is plod on some rocky trail in the bush, you will be thankful for every little thing you left behind, that made your pack lighter. But that doesn't mean you leave your toothbrush behind (hmm... may be you could). For instance, if the forecast says there's a chance of rain where you are planning to hike, you should probably take your raincoat along.
I will leave out some of the obvious things that one should pack on a hike. A simple Google search for hiking resources will give you quite some information. The ones below might also be obvious (so sue me), but they are also for my future reference:

Maps: Get a map of the trail and the surrounding wilderness. Your chances of getting lost decrease dramatically with a map in hand. You will also need a compass. Now, if you can't figure out how to use a compass and a map, then you probably deserve to get lost.
Trash bags: They are light, and they can be variously useful. If it rains, you can cover your backpacks beneath a couple of trash bags. You could cover yourself too. There's always the option of using it as a trash bag.
Ziploc bags: Get at least a dozen of these babies, with the zips at the end. Pack your hummus mix, powdered milk mix, orange juice mix, folded clothes even, in them. Your shit will stay dry, and everything will be okay!
Torches/Flashlights: Try and get yourself a headlamp instead. It'll free your hands.
Food, and food mixes: Oatmeal packets for breakfast, orange juice concentrate (mix water), hot chocolate mix, hummus mix, dried fruits and nuts, cous-cous mix (just boil it in water, and see it grow enough to fill your appetite), pasta sauce, cheese, and pita bread should do ya. Don't get squishy stuff like bananas, or crumbly stuff like cookies, if you don't want a mess on your hands.
A water pump: for pumping and filtering water from a fresh water source.
Stove: a small, portable stove, which is basically a burner on three stands. A canister of gas (that's gasoline/petrol for the rest of the world) as fuel for the stove. We filled ours at a gas station on the way. Be careful with packing and stowing the gas in your pack.
Oh, speaking of food and cooking, on what would you eat your food? China plates, and forks ? Ha! Fat chance... Get yourself some of those tupperware plastic boxes, and pack just one spoon for each hiker. Eat out of those boxes for lunch, breakfast and dinner. Lick it clean as a substitute for washing. Waste nothing.
Toilet paper: Unless you are an expert with dry leaves, or if you mind not taking a crap at all. And please stay away from any water source while you are at it.

There, as you can see, hiking is not a joke. But if you do your homework, you can have a wonderful time out. I will probably add to this post with time, as I think of more things to add.

Triumph, Star Wars and Hotlines

2005-05-14T12:53:00.000-05:00

I should make it clear first off that I have never watched any of the Star Wars movies (gasps! from the audience). May be parts of it, somewhere, some time. And in a perfect world, I wouldn't. But one of my new roommates is a fanboy. A big one. And he has the collector's edition of all the movies. And we have a projection system home theater in the apartment. So, I am probably going to watch it soon. But its pervasion into popular culture is so complete that indirectly, I know roughly what happens in the movie, and half the characters already. At the time it was released, it was probably truly the shit. But as is the fate of almost every good idea that works, its creators juiced it for all its worth, and then some more, so by the time so-called Episode I hit the screens... it was stale.

Anyway, the new Star Wars movie - Episode III - is out soon, and being the pop-culture whore that I am (or, turning into), I felt I should comment. For one thing, it is nauseating to see the associated commercialization. I was browsing through the cereals section in the grocery store, and I saw a Whole-Grain crispies box with a picture of that pussy, Hayden Christensen, standing with a lightsaber in hand. What the fuck has a Jedi Knight to do with a bowl of cold cereal anyway? Everything from poop paper to cars comes in a Star Wars edition now. Disgusting.

George Lucas stands to make millions from the mindless devotion of countless fanboys who will jump, like hungry dogs at meat, at any merchandise that smells even remotely of Star Wars. Conveniently enough, Episode III is getting `positive' reviews from everywhere.

Then we have them geeks. I don't think I can express in any novel way the sorry state of the legions of losers that call themselves Star Wars fanboys, than has already been done. But I think there is one particular downsizing that was inflicted on them, that I should share with you. Have you ever watched Triumph the insult dog in action? If you haven't, stop whatever you are doing in your meaningless life, and go watch some videos of Triumph in action. Okay, now that you are enlightened in the ways of Triumph, let's come back to the issue at hand. Some geeks were standing just outside some theater, waiting for Episode II to begin (2002, I think?). Who should appear at the scene, but Triumph! What followed was hilarity itself. I have linked some video goodness for your benefit. But if you are too lazy to watch that video, here's a sample from the transcript:

[Triumph approaches a geek standing in line. A female geek. And a pregnant one at that.]
Triumph (T): So, that is a future geek waiting to be born... eh?
Pregnant Female Geek (PFG): Yeah, yeah! That is a future jedi knight in there!
T: Oh, great. So, when is he due?
PFG: Umm... I think - June 27th.
T (barely containing his laughter): Oh, really? So, that is the last day that boy will see female genitalia.

Truly, the video is a keeper.

Wait, I have more to say. And not all of it is good news (at least, not for me).

1-800-441-4000. Looks like just another 1-800 number, right? No. Try it. I opened a bank account at Bank of America recently. I ran into the bank one evening just after it closed, as I wanted to know my account balance. The guy at the counter told me it was closed, but helpfully enough, he offered me the hot-line number for customer service at Bank of America. Yes, it was 1-800-441-4000. Cryptically, he added, "Satisfaction guaranteed", and closed the bank. I did not have my mobile phone on me at the time. When I did call the number later, I did reach a hot-line. Only, it wasn't no hot-line to any bank. You know what I'm saying? Boy, did I get suckered by that bank guy! I haven't seen him at work in that bank since.

My new toy, BlogPoster, isn't going nowhere. I am busy learning the ropes at work, and I am spending weekends hauling shit between Providence and Boston, so I haven't had the time to sit down. Hopefully, I'll get back to it soon.

Coming soon: how Arthur C Clarke and Isaac Asimov wrote some stinking bullshit disguised as science-fiction.

The bull is in your court!

2005-04-26T15:09:00.000-05:00

The bull is in your court!, originally uploaded by shashankr.

So, this herd of buffalo ran wild on a highway somewhere! They were finally contained into a tennis court. As for me, I say "huzzah!"

BlogPoster is born (barely!)

2005-04-24T02:08:00.000-05:00

As you can see, the previous post is a test post from an OS X application that I am developing. Its called BlogPoster, and it will allow you to post to your weblog from your favorite mac, without actually opening the weblog service in a browser. I know, I know -- applications like these are retro, and they are a dime-a-dozen. But I am writing it to mainly hone my developing skills in Cocoa, Python, pyobjc, and to gain more familiarity with XML.

Interface Builder is an OS X application that lets you create Cocoa/Carbon based GUI applications quickly and intelligently. It also defines skeleton classes that capture the interaction between the various GUI compnents, leaving the user to flesh out the classes for functionality. It is especially suited for applications that follow the Model-View-Controller (MVC) design pattern.

Python, as you might know, is the most kick-ass scripting/object-oriented/whatever language ever. Python rocks! Objective-C is an extended C, with, as the name implies, object oriented features. pyobjc is an extension of python that allows a developer to combine the features provided by both Python and Objective-C. Since its an extension of python, the syntax of pyobjc resembles that of Python.

BlogPoster is still in its infancy - I spent 6 hours reading others' code (isn't that the best way to learn?), and 2 hours writing my own - about a 100 lines of python code. So, the only blog to which posts can be uploaded is mine :) I want to make it complete, by adding the following features (in order of priority):

HTML Editing
HTML preview
Image upload
Support for all blogging services that provide an XML-RPC based API for developers

Screenshots, and source code will be posted (via BlogPoster :) ), once the project is in a respectable state. Not too many people are mac users, leave alone being mac hackers, but people - if you are not at least one of these, you are missing out on something sweet.

2005-04-24T02:02:00.000-05:00

test from BlogPoster
hello, world

Yahoo! vs Google

2005-04-07T19:05:00.000-05:00

A friend and I were comparing Google and Yahoo! He loves Yahoo! and hates Google. He loves Yahoo! because it has a comprehensive suite of web-services, and comes up with pioneering revenue-generating ideas. He hates Google because the guys there act like they are "the saviors of technology", and because they front crap like "We are in it because we love technology", while "they are actually in it for money" (which, by the way, they are making tons of).

As for me, I hate Yahoo! and love Google. For pretty much the same reasons he hates them. Let me clarify: Sure, Y! has a suite of websites, but have you used them? They are stinking piles of shit. Y! Maps has been around for ages, and its probably the clunkiest web software around. Have you seen their homepage? Even after a (much-hyped) redesign, their homepage is cluttered with ads, and with no clear focus. And let's not even get into My Yahoo!

I believe that it is important to get things working. I concede that Yahoo! does that. But then, they sit on their asses doing nothing to improve things that are working. Especially when there is trememdous potential to do so. This is the very reason Google could enter and dominate the web search market that was once Yahoo!'s domain. There is no point in being a pioneer if you don't continually strive towards improvement.

As a Mac user, another thing that greatly ticks me off about Y!'s development culture is their absolute contempt, and lack of support, for non-Windows environments. It may be true that setting teams of people to work on developing software for the Mac might not reflect in financial returns, but then, why even bother? Their website features a half-assed Y! messenger client for the Mac that doesn't even anti-alias fonts, leave alone supporting audio/video. I would actually be willing to pay them for a decent OS X client.

I don't need to sing praises about Google here, since Slashdot already does that for me. But I do believe most of that praise is warranted. Have you looked at how prolific they are? My point is that it is not beyond most tech companies to do good stuff (Yes, even Microsoft). They just need to have the right mindset.

Any way, this whole rant was finally written because of my frustration using Yahoo! messenger for the Mac. So, I am thinking of writing a third party client for Yahoo! messenger that addresses all my frustrations. Yes, I want to go all the way, and provide audio/video support. I am not brave enough to write code from scratch. But it is going to be a challenge to even reuse components. Any way, in the meanwhile, I will start migrating away from everything Yahoo!, so that if I don't get around to developing my client, I can still survive.

Apple iChat, here I come.

Oldboy: Wierd-ass movie

2005-03-29T13:18:00.000-05:00

Go watch this oddball movie, if you haven't already. If for no other reason than that you get to see a live octopus eaten. Also, almost randomly, there was an allusion to the 1999 wierdo-cult hit Being John Malkovich: A character mentions his discreet "7.5" floor business, where the anonymity of clients is top-priority. If you have seen BJM, you will recall that the porthole is in an office which is on floor 7.5. I was just wondering if 7.5 is standard nomenclature for discreet businesses, or if this was a deliberate reference to the other movie.

Addendum: More Questions

2005-03-28T23:18:00.000-05:00

Random Walk (on-site)

Node is an element of a linked list of integers. Define Node, and implement the function:
Node *addToEnd( Node *list, int val ).
In my implementation of addToNode(), I separately handled the case when the list is NULL. I was asked to improve the implementation to merge handling both cases. Hint: Use a Node ** variable.

Technical interview questions

2005-03-24T10:37:00.000-05:00

Here's a list of questions I was asked over the last two months, in the course of my job search. No solutions, nor a comment on the quality of questions, will be provided. So, don't bother asking.

Microsoft (on campus):

Reverse a linked list.
Given an array (positive and negative integers), find the contiguous subarray with the maximum sum.
Implement:
```
void *aligned_malloc( size_t size_in_bytes, int align );
void *aligned_free( void *ptr_returned_by_aligned_malloc );
```
aligned_malloc() is like malloc(), but takes an additional argument - align. If p is the pointer returned by aligned_malloc, then, ( p % align == 0 ).
Find the minimum number of colors required to color a dodecahedron. Now, write an algorithm that does so.

NetApp (phone screen):

When would you prefer hashing as your dictionary implementation?
What is secondary hashing?
Perfect hashing/universal hashing...
How is the open() system call implemented in UNIX?
The rest, I don't remember (its all a haze).

Caliber Consulting (phone):

Given the function:


void swap( char *p1, char *p2 ) {
  char *tmp;
  tmp = p1;
  p1 = p2;
  p2 = tmp;
}

what is the output of the following code:


#include 

int main() {
  char *s1 = "hello";
  char *s2 = "world";
  swap( s1, s2 );
  printf( "%s, %s\n", s1, s2 );
  return 0;
}

Implement strlen(), strcat()...
What is the complexity of strcat() ?
How would you change strcat(), given the following scenario:
```
char src[VERYBIGNUMBER];  /* NULL initially */
char *s1, *s2, ..., *sn;
```
You need to place the strings s1, s2,..., sn into src using strcat(). Assume that src can accomodate all these strings. Note that normally, a single execution of strcat() takes O(l + m), where the lengths of the two strings are l and m. With that complexity, the above cascade of strcat()'s takes time proportional to:

n*strlen(s1) + (n - 1) * strlen(s2) + ... + strlen(sn).

Can you change the complexity to:

strlen(s1) + strlen(s2) + ... + strlen(sn) ?
Given that you had only upto the IP stack implemented on two machines. How would you go about establishing a session between them? Note - you obviously can't just use TCP! Also, no error correction, sequencing etc. are required, so you don't *need* to use TCP.
With the same scenario as in the previous question, how would you implement a messaging client?
What are virtual functions in C++?
How would you implement virtual functions in a compiler?

Random Walk (pre-interview - on campus):

Implement the factorial function.
What is polymorphism?
What are virtual functions?
Talk about inner classes in Java.
Difference between a button and a JButton
57 cents worth of money in 7 coins. How many of each do I have: 1c, 5c, 10c, 25c ?

Neuco (phone screen)

What are virtual functions in C++?
How does a typical C++ compiler implement virtual functions?
How would you reproduce/simulate the object system of C++ in C?
Given a C++ object and its method, how would you simulate with a C function, the calling of the C++ method?
Suppose you are given a pointer to a function that takes a double between 0 and 1, and returns a double between 0 and 1. The function is continuous, and is zero at some point(s) in the interval. Write a procedure to find those zero-points. What is the complexity of the function, as a function of (a) precision, (b) accuracy ?

Random Walk (phone interview)

What is the difference between the procedural and the object oriented approaches to programming?
Elucidate the cornerstones of OOP.
Suppose you had a Shape class. Its an abstract class that subclasses into concrete classes like a Point, Triangle, Square etc. How would you handle render()'ing a Shape instance...?
Suppose an application program wants to render birds on the screen. Different birds are to have different functionalities (Ducks can quack(), Crows can fly() etc). Suggest a good design pattern to provide these functionalities to different instances, that repsects the paradigms: cohesion and loose coupling.
What is the most prominent characteristic about multi-threaded programming? And why does multi-threaded prog have this characteristic?

Book burning, and other noteworthy incidents

2005-03-24T09:59:00.000-05:00

The United States is an awfully repressive place at times, especially for a country that is supposedly at the forefront of human advancement and progress. What prompts this particular whining of mine is the news that recently, Lynne Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick "I'm Not Dead, Yet" Cheney, ordered the burning of hundreds of books that supposedly cast some arcane aspect of American history in a bad light. I know, I know, this is old news, but I am still alarmed by Mrs Cheney's actions.

This new-age Savonarola, herself authress of a steamy civil-war era story about a lesbian couple, now out of print, also went on Fox News (that classy beacon of tv journalism, the fair and balanced news network) and proclaimed that the nation's history had to be looked at in a "non-cynical and inspiring light". Sure, forget about concertedly driving an entire native race to near-extinction, and the bondage of another for a hundred years, and there's only the Wizard of Oz left to tell in the (hi)story books.

This is also the country where people think the theory of evolution should not be taught in schools because it might be opposite to some people's fundamental religious beliefs and the theory of creationism. A documentary about volcanoes on Discovery Channel was also put on hold because of the same concerns. Television stations across the country refused to air the movie Saving Private Ryan, fearing indecency fines by the FCC.

We have a President who tries (and succeeds) to score cheap political points by speaking about promoting a "culture of life". This is the same guy who was governor of Texas, where more people are legally put to death every year, than does the rest of the country (This is a rant. I am not checking facts here, but you get the picture).

But these are only a few in a series of disturbing revelations I have come to have about this country. The image of the States as projected to the outside world is the one peddled by Hollow-wood (oops, Hollywood... that was actually a Freudian slip) and television. This is the image of a Godless, hedonistic, morally corrupt society. It wouldn't be a problem for me if this country was simply hedonistic, and morally corrupt. What is, is the fact that it is one of the most conservative of modern societies. A hypocritical, jingoistic majority, that is regularly whipped up by religious fervor of its clergy, where covert propaganda passes for news, and wimpy middle-ground politics is considered radical liberalism.

All the above would still not be a big concern if the country's foreign policy did not reflect its retrograde cultural and religious ideology. Like bestowing democracy on a country whose civilization is approximately five thousand years older than itself. I think below all the ideological and political rhetoric about the rationale for current foreign policy is ignorance and fear. Fear and uncertainty about people who are unlike its own. A people whose very idea of organized society is quite different from the one that is known here.

I'm Rick James, beee-yaatch!

2005-01-20T11:36:00.000-05:00

I'm Rick James, beee-yaatch!, originally uploaded by shashankr.

Finally, it is here... a million thanks to Ditch for giving me this shirt as a gift.

The Flight to Goa

2005-01-20T08:59:00.000-05:00

I went to Goa for a vacation when I was in India. A huge family, probably Assamese (I heard one of them call another Talukdar), also got on the Indian airlines flight. I immediately sensed this family would create a spectacle. It was probably their first time on a plane, and they intended to make an event out of it. Their assigned seats were scattered around the plane, and in an effort to rectify that, the head of the family (whom I will call Chief,) started asking the other passengers, loudly, to "adjust" and move to other seats. Of course, not everyone obliged; I was one of them. I was not going to give up my window seat to anyone, certainly not to obnoxious Chief. This led to louder condemnations in Assamese by other members of the family. Chief Talukdar, in fact, finally sat down two seats away from me.

I thought the family had settled after about five minutes, when I suddenly heard loud conversations break out all around. This family was not going to let a few rows of seats come in the way of the conversations they had going when they boarded. Children sitting ten rows away from each other were conversing. Aloud. Older men and women kept up a din across many rows. Chief is apparently a funny man, for every sentence of his brought forth guffaws from his kin spread strategically around the plane. So much for a surround sound experience.

And then, the plane took off. The entire family, from all around the plane, craned over their seats to get a better look of Bangalore falling away beneath them. As the plane rose higher, their exultations got louder, and reached a climax when the seat belt signs went off. Half of the family got up from their seats and started walking the aisles toward the other half. No longer bound by the (insignificant) constraint of having to sit rows away from each other, the conversation changed to a steady drone.

When the hapless flight attendants started serving snacks, everyone went back to their seats, and there was a thankful moment of silence: the family was going to eat. But soon afterwards, there was a lot of loud smacking of lips. I saw Chief lick his fingers to his satisfaction, and then wash his hands with water in the plate. I was completely rocked. Afterward, his brushy moustache still had crusts of food sticking on his face. When he went to sleep in no time, his moustache and the food crumbs gently waved about, as he snored.

That Instruction Permit

2004-12-14T18:18:00.000-05:00

While I am at it, I still haven't gotten an instruction permit from the DMV. I must confess however, that this is out of my own inaction (wait, no. I "have been very busy"), than due to the inefficiencies of an archaic system. I hope to get it tomorrow (snicker... snicker...).

I pledged to myself to keep this thing better updated. But, as I said before - I have been too busy. Damn, I suck!

Interviewing at MS

2004-12-14T17:22:00.000-05:00

Okay, wow... this is after a long time. A lot of water under the bridge. But before they slip out of my mind, let me post some questions I was asked in my screening interview (by phone) with someone from Microsoft. Yes, I sold out. If Microsoft offers me a job, I will take it with both hands.

Without further ado:

Why do you want to join Microsoft? I was kinda expecting this question, and I had a weak answer prepared. But still, this was the first question she threw at me; she virtually threw it at me. As I said, I was not too happy blathering my weak response. Not the start I was expecting.

What are your top three areas of expertise in software? Mmm... again, stock question, stock answer.

What programming languages do you know well? C, C++. Like an idiot, I tried to say I know Java, Scheme, ML - she brushed them all away, "We don't do those". Right. I forgot - I was decaying in graduate school.

What would you rate yourself in C/C++ on a scale of 10? Something tells me that someone's going to see my self-rating in the next round, and give me a lot of grief about it.

The next few questions were really stock, man. I mean, I had seen almost all these questions on various websites. But exactly two questions that I was asked, I hadn't seen. And when I figured out one of them, the interviewer asks me if I had seen them before. I said I hadn't, of course. But still, it made me almost think I was lying. Because I didn't tell her I had seen the others before. Anyway, its not my problem, if MS wants to ask questions over and over. And I am not going to list them, since you can find out with a simple search.

My favorite question (I hadn't seen this one): There are three switches in one room, and they control three light bulbs in another. You need to figure out which switch controls which bulb, but you can only visit the light bulb room once. I took a while to figure that one out. But I was happy when I got it.

The easiest question that I took longest to answer: This is really embarrassing I admit, but I took forever to figure this one out - There is a basket with x white balls, y black balls, z blue balls and w green balls. How many balls do you need to pick out of this basket before you are sure of having two balls of the same color? You don't want to know my first few attempts at solving this no-brainer. But finally, I saw the light: the pigeonhole principle. I profusely apologized to my interviewer for taking that long to figure it out.

Some things I did not do well:
My interviewer asked me how I keep abreast of the latest technological developments in the field. I blurted something about reading research articles and tech reports. Not very convincing.

What is your favorite software product? Since I use iTunes all the time, and I like all its features - its nice design, smart playlists, its fast startup in spite of its size, and its other hidden nuggets, that was my answer. She came back at me with this:

If you could improve iTunes, what would you do? Sadly, I didn't answer this one. I am very pissed about it, actually. If you are reading this, and you have suggestions, please let me know.

How would you test a stack? I know I am bad at testing. Sometimes I wish I had actually studied in college. All I could think of was to check for stack overflow, underflow and correct order of push/pop. She was expecting more, but I had nothing else to offer.

Anyway, I am going to Redmond sometime in January or February for the big interview. Excitingly enough, the email I got says, "... [be] ready to do a lot of C/C++ coding at your interviews. And most importantly, don't forget to test them before you say you are done". Thanks, will keep that in mind.

Four more years, indeed

2004-11-03T01:43:00.000-05:00

Yes, as I begin writing this post, I see Ohio leaning towards the President. And that is it. Game over. The Shankster predicts final tally: Bush: 274 - Kerry: LOSER. I am disappointed, to say the least. But hey, I can at least stop being a poll junkie and go to sleep now.

Blogger Lies

2004-10-31T07:40:00.000-05:00

I wonder which retard programmed this Blogger software. For the last two months, the number of posts on my blog has remained unchanged, while I merrily add posts. For some reason, I am very pissed about it. And my unhappiness only grows every time I see that counter. I guess its because every time I post something new, it stays the same. As if telling me that my posts are worthless, and hence not worth counting. True, but depressing.

I am feeling like a piece of shit for another reason. I have now been to the DMV twice in a week, and haven't managed to even take the instruction permit exam, let alone pass it. The first time, I dick-headedly chose to visit the only DMV that actually doesn't issue new permits. When I found out, I felt like setting myself on fire. Especially because I had to make the trip using Rhode Island's lame ass public transportation - the bus. Huge disappointment. But apparently, it was just the beginning of my troubles.

The next time, my friend actually managed to locate a DMV office that is closer, and that actually issues new permits. I made sure I had all the documents that were listed on their ass faced website. Signature ID (passport), age ID (passport, again) proof of residence (credit card statements) etc. We made our way hopefully to that shit hole office at 7 in the morning, and waited outside for for an hour, in line with a bunch of people who seemed to be even bigger losers than myself. Wierd.

Finally, the doors opened and we all filed in like lost sheep. After some aimless wandering, I got as far as the counter where I was supposed to get my documents examined. The written test was only minutes away. Then, this lady who looked over my stuff told me I should get an accreditation letter from the University. This was to make sure I was still enrolled in the U. I looked at her incredulously for a moment. I tried to explain to her that I had all the documents that were listed on the DMV's website, and that this requirement was nowhere listed. She gave me a look that left me in no doubt as to what she thought of me. I see losers like you every day. Get the fuck out of here. She adjusted her composure, and said, somewhat daintily that she couldn't help me any more, since I didn't have the letter. I felt like holding her head by the hair, and banging it over the counter. But all I did was to put on my best look of exasperation, and walk away.

No prizes for guessing how hopeful I am of ever getting an instruction permit, leave alone a driving licence.

Ray Charles, anime and endorsement

2004-10-24T16:55:00.000-05:00

As the title indicates, I will talk about Ray Charles, anime and endorsement. I am so creative.

As I mentioned some posts ago, I have been listening to significant amounts of soul/funk. Ray was in the news recently (what with his death, and the biopic). It only seemed appropriate that I check out his music. And boy, was that a good thing to do. Current faves: I can't stop loving you, Georgia on my mind, You don't know me and What'd I say.

Speaking of Ray, I recently saw my first anime movie - Metropolis, and the soundtrack features I can't stop loving you. The movie itself wasn't very good. I was disappointed with the cliched turns of plot, in spite of the fact that the creators were working with the rather more flexible medium of animation. But it had its good moments. Like the ending. Which is when Ray's song plays. I was surprised at how much more effective a song becomes when put in context. Now, everytime I listen to that song (which is quite often), I am reminded of the scene from the movie. It definitely sounds better and bigger now, than when I first heard it, before I saw this movie...

Coming to the final topic of this blog, I am soon going to announce my (very influential) endorsement for a Presidential candidate. Tough choice... stay tuned.

Also, my favoritest blog, the northlondonhippy blog, is a nominee for BOB (Best Of Blogs) - a contest conducted by Deutsche Welle. Please visit his blog, and vote for the hippy when it comes time to do so! Peace.

Blogs of interest

2004-10-16T00:50:00.000-05:00

Of course I often click the Next Blog button. If you don't know what I am talking about, look at the top right corner for the nicely placed button that takes you to the next random blog. The number of blogs, styles, content all made me stand back and think about the whole idea of blogging. Anyway, I found some interesting blogs.

My favorite blog is easily the northlondonhippy's blog. Mr. Hippy actually put up his car as a giveaway, to promote his blog. I am sure he was high on his 'shrooms when he thought up this idea. Unfortunately for me, I live on the other side of the Atlantic.

Bill O'Reilly's in deep shit

2004-10-15T15:40:00.000-05:00

Mr. No-Spin-Zone has been accused by FOX producer Andrea Mackris of sexual harassment. Among other things, O'Reilly called her up, and talked about sliding a falafel up her pussy, while they showered together! What a kinky motherfucker. Hilarious! Get the complete transcript of the suit filed against O'Reilly at the Smoking Gun. Actually, the allegations are sensational in many ways. O'Reilly claims that liberal radio show host Al Franken is set for some big comeuppance for taking on FOX (courtesy head honcho Roger Ailes). O'Reilly also ridicules Tom Brokaw, talks about his sexual prowess, and even does it with a vibrator, while on the phone with Mackris.

Surprisingly, none of the major media outlets covered this potentially explosive story. Not even the New York Times, which is regularly bashed by O'Reilly on his Factor and other shows. The Washington Post did cover it, although in a half-assed way. I would love to see if Bill still has the balls to dish morality lessons to everyone aound him. I sense him going down, and I love it!

True grit

2004-10-12T19:43:00.000-05:00

The LA Times profiles Thomas van Orden, a homeless lawyer, who saves money by eating on alternate days, and has currently sued the State of Texas for breaching the First Amendment, which requires separation of Church and State. His allegation: a granite monument that stands outside the Texas Capitol in Austin, TX violates the said Amendment. Inscribed on the monument are the American Eagle, the Flag, and... the Ten Commandments! For over forty years, this granite slab went unnoticed. And then, along came van Orden.

His story is quite interesting. He is so broke for cash, that he doesn't know if he will be able to get to the Supreme Court in Washington to argue his case! Of course, even if he does that, he thinks he will probably sleep on the streets in Washington before arguing one of the most important cases in judicial history. The article is here.

The Meeting with Agent Starling

2004-10-07T17:05:00.000-05:00

My much awaited meeting with Agent Starling was totally anti-climactic. I was almost disappointed. I was expecting to meet with some obnoxious bureau agent, who I could direct my outrage at. Instead, I met a polite, gracious woman, who was almost apologetic about the whole issue. She looked like an ordinary government official. No Agent Smith sunglasses for her. I guess its a good thing it turned out to be her... She actually encouraged me to consider a career in the FBI! But I am not an American citizen. Do I want to be one? I don't know. Its off topic anyway.

It began with me giving her my `background'. It was really unnecessary, because the FBI can obtain all this information from the SEVIS database into which all of it is already entered. It was more of a `co-operation' thing. The human touch. Anyway, she also got my current residential address and my cellphone number. Will they tap my phone? I don't know. Should I have not given it to her? I don't really see how that would have helped, because its no big deal for the FBI to get my number. Not giving it to her would only have raised suspicions. I then showed her the pictures I had clicked in Boston. I gave her the purpose of my visit (the concert).

Apparently, she is on the JTTF - Joint Terrorism Task Force, around the Providence area. That is how the `suspicious activity' report filed in Boston worked its way to her. Clicking pictures in the train station is classified by the intelligence agencies as possible `pre-operation surveillance'. In effect, our meeting was (in her words,) to establish that this report was `unfounded'. At first, I was surprised she found out my office location, knowing just my name - but I figured all she would need to do is a Google Search. Indeed, Ms Starling admitted to as much! Ahh, the wonders of modern technology... I also told her that I distinctly remembered having seen someone else clicking snaps at the same time I was. She was apologetic when she heard that no one stopped him for questioning.

I asked her if there were any statutes that governed our meeting. She didn't know if there were any. It was her job to do `this kind of stuff'. I also wanted to know what would happen with all the information she just got. She said she would file a report with the agency saying she met the `suspect' (that's me), and found no sign of any unlawful activity or intent. The filed report is of course going to be permanent. Any other agent who will pull up a list for suspicious activities of the kind I just mentioned, will also see my report. I was worried about being flagged at airports and other places. Agent Starling assured me that wouldn't happen. I only have her word for it.

And that was it. It was over. She wished me a nice day, and left.

Updates on the Big Brother Incident

2004-10-07T10:43:00.000-05:00

Apparently, I am not the only person of color being persecuted for clicking pictures in the land of the free. Agent Starling's (I love that pseudonym. Don't you?) visit to my office did generate some interest from other graduate students in the Brown CS Dept. One of them told me about Ian Spears, some guy in the Seattle area, who was pulled up for clicking pictures of a local tourist spot for one of his photography assignments. An account of his run in with the law is here and his blog is here.

Oh, and yeah, I am meeting with Agent Starling today afternoon. I can't wait to see how the inquisition goes. I have a few questions of my own for her...

The Reach of Big Brother

2004-10-05T21:03:00.000-05:00

Well, well, well... I am back. With a bang, too! The most unimaginable thing happened, and is still happening, over this last week. Let me get right into it.

So, I go to Boston last week for this Pearl Jam Concert. I arrive at Boston's South Station, and I start clicking snaps around the station with my new Kodak digital camera as soon as I get there. I manage to click about 5 snaps, when I am stopped by this burly guy in a suit. Too bad I don't click his snap. Big guy asks me why I am clicking snaps of the train station. I ask him what business it is of his. Then he tells me he is from the Justice Department! Sure enough, he shows me his credentials too, and they seem okay.

Justice Dept dude asks me where I am from, and what I am doing in Boston. He tells me that security people in stations get nervous when they see people taking pictures around the station, especially after the Madrid bomb blasts. That seems reasonable, except that I also see another guy - a white guy, standing nearby, clicking snaps, and no one is saying anything to him. I begin to see the light. Realizing that I am not in a real position to argue, I slip my camera into the backpack, and leave the scene.

I think about it later, just curse myself for being of colored skin, forget about it, and go on with life. Until today. I come into my office in the afternoon, and I see a note stuck on my computer: There is a number on it that I have to call at the earliest. Mind you, at the time I see the note, I make no connection with the Boston incident of the previous week. Curious, I call the number. The call connects, and I hear a voice at the other end say: "FBI Office, please wait". I almost shit in my pants when I hear that. I then look again at the note in my hand, and turn it around. Its a visiting card - FBI Special Agent Ms. Clarice Starling (I had to choose some name...)! I am freakin' out.

Agent Starling comes on line at the other end. At the time, I am thinking - what did I do wrong? I am mentally checking off things I could be apprehended for - Flying lessons? No. Preaching radical fundamentalist Islam? No. Deriding the President? Wishing he were ousted? Well, yeah... but who isn't? As I am groping for a reason, Special Agent Starling politely asks me if I had been to South Station the previous week... and then, suddenly it is clear! I almost relax. I tell her that I was indeed in Boston the previous week. I acknowledge having clicked pictures there. Ms Starling wants to `talk to me about it'. I groan inwardly. Whatever for? I ask her so. She says `the matter worked up to her', and so she has to `follow through with it'. She apologizes for bothering me, and says the meeting won't take more than 10 minutes. Its not like I have a choice, do I? So, I set up a time to meet with her later this week.

The incriminating pictures of the station, and a few more, are here:
Boston Pictures

Solaris, current music and other things

2004-07-18T23:31:00.000-05:00

With time, my blogging is turning sporadic. I expected this from the beginning, but it's so true that novelty wears off, often quicker than expected. I have also been busy with my research this past week. Anyway, I recently saw the 2002 remake of Solaris, based on Stanislaw Lem's classic sci-fi novel of the same name.

The movie was actually not as bad as some people made it out to be. In the first place, Lem's novel doesn't lend itself to be made into a typical sci-fi movie. For that matter, Lem's sci-fiction is not typical sci-fiction. But that's another matter, which demands lengthy contemplation (for another time). But what really got me was the soundtrack. I was simply blown away by Cliff Martinez's genius. Martinez must not only be a perceptive reader of Lem's work, but also a master at capturing the atmosphere, the emotions at play when visiting a planet as strange as Solaris. He does an outstanding work of conveying exactly these with his music. And to think I would never listen to electronic ambient music!

There are some other class acts in music I have recently rediscovered for myself. Frank Sinatra, for instance. That voice of his! I have also been listening to soul/blues/funk lately. Marvin Gaye, Al Green, and even Rick James!

"I'm Rick James, bitch!"
Dave Chappelle

A long way from Walden

2004-06-26T15:56:00.000-05:00

I am reading Thoreau's Walden these days. Appropriately, as a test, I got locked out of my apartment for just over two hours today morning. As I sat outside my apartment, waiting for my roommate (Alex) to return and let me in, I wondered how dependent we have become on a shelter - something our ancestors used to stand under only when it rained or stormed. I can see some sense in the concept in places with extremes of climate. But does a man living off the coast of the Mediterranean need to ever stay within the confines of four walls? I then recalled these lines of Thoreau:
Most men never seem to have considered what is a house, and are actually though needlessly poor all their lives because they must have a house such as the neighbor's.

As I reflected upon these lines and more, I privately laughed at the huge and garish mansions people built and still build for themselves. Soon I was galvanized enough to even consider starting a new life away from civilization, one with nature. But then my stomach started rumbling, and I remembered that there was some good chicken soup in the refrigerator. I was thankful when Alex returned after what seemed like an eternity. I didn't even come back to Thoreau until after I had gotten into my apartment, eaten well and was beginning to relax on my new mattress with my copy of Walden.

I told you so!

2004-06-25T11:34:00.000-05:00

BBC NEWS | Technology | Web browser flaw prompts warning

BEGIN rant:

What'd I say? Internet Explorer sucks ass! Please stop using Microsoft's IE. If a website is ``designed for IE'', boycott that website. Microsoft is the bane of all computer users. Disguised as a blessing, Microsoft is a curse. The great Devil.

END rant.

gmail: A new etiquette for email

2004-06-22T11:33:00.000-05:00

I finally got my gmail account! So hit me at shashank dot ramaprasad at gmail.com. Now, I am all in awe of gmail's conversation/thread view. Its so intuitive and simple, I wonder why none of the other major players offered it. Maybe some one did, and I missed it? Let me know...

For those of you unaware, gmail groups a post and all subsequent replies to it. It offers this entire thread in one view as a conversation. As a user, you no longer have to look at redundant information. The subject line itself is an example: The entire conversation is simply named with the subject line of the first post in the conversation. gmail also intelligently hides quoted or included text in replies to any post, making it easier to scroll through the entire conversation.

Now, it is convention to include or ``quote'' the entire conversation history when adding to a post. Among parties using gmail this convention becomes un-necessary owing to the conversation view. So, individual posts are shorter. One simply has to take care to not alter the subject line. But I do see people often replying to a thread and changing the subject line while doing so. That, to me is very irritating. It interrrupts the flow of the conversation and puts the persons following the thread off-track.

Here's to gmail! I hope others take notice too, and make the world of email a better place.

Pretty woman

2004-06-16T17:15:00.000-05:00

The most beautiful girl I ever saw in a picture. She was apparently one of thousands watching the Euro match-up between Portugal and Russia. From the BBC website (without permission). I wonder what my chances of this meeting this lady are???

MS to Offer AV Software: How twisted is THAT?

2004-06-15T20:07:00.000-05:00

Microsoft on Track to Offer Anti-Virus Software (TechNews.com)

Microsoft is planning to offer its own AV solution, which will compete against the likes of Symantec, McAfee etc. Knowing Microsoft, this latest offering will probably be so bug-ridden itself, that third party software might spring up to patch the holes. But I have a larger, more fundamental grouse with Microsoft.

Why, in the first place, does Microsoft charge exorbitant sums of money when its software is riddled with defects? Even allowing for defects, doesn't it become Microsoft's ethical, moral and maybe even legal responsibility to at least try and offer fixes without additionally charging users already burdened with its low-quality software?

Anti-virus software is a case in point. As everyone knows, today's proliferation of viruses and other worms that seriously affect the integrity of computer systems big and small, can be directly attributed to loopholes in Microsoft's operating system design in large part. Although Microsoft might have caused this `security issue' unintentionally, it resulted in the growth of a multi-million dollar anti-virus industry. Now, incredibly, Microsoft is aiming at earning revenue off its earlier incompetence! Those poor parasitic outgrowths face competition from the greedy host. Microsoft can probably buy out all these antivirus companies, and simply issue a small belch afterwards, being the huge cash cow it is.

A sorry state of affairs indeed. Is there any way out? Of course there is. Migrate to other operating systems. Although easier said than done, organizations should seriously consider moving out of the clutches of the Redmond gaint, at least gradually, if not at one go. Linux offers proven productivity, and at much more reasonable rates. And for those with the money to spend, there are always those Macintoshes.

Is Google too good?

2004-06-15T15:08:00.000-05:00

Inappropriate matching with Google ads

Check this out! Some wuss put this up on a site whining about Google's gmail service. A story about unregulated online pharmacies is sponsored by an ad by a bunch of... yes! By unregulated online pharmacies! How is that for accurate context-sensitiveness? Way to go, Google.

Kerry needs a serious makeover

2004-06-15T11:02:00.000-05:00

The Onion | Kerry Names 1969 Version Of Himself As Running Mate

These days, the Democrat nominee looks like he has a sour lemon wedged between his legs. No wonder the Onion reminded him of his more youthful days. He needs to lighten up.

On a totally unrelated note, some currents...
mood: Anticipation.
music: Funk/Soul: "Let's get it on". Barry White.
books: Propaganda/dystopia: Brave New World (Huxley), Walden (Thoreau), 1984 (Orwell).
movie: The Insider (1999?).

Is the matrix in you?

2004-06-13T15:15:00.000-05:00

After a long break, I took up my pen, nee mouse, and pointed it to blogger.com. Just when I thought I had seen it all, I came across this group of sites, the matrix sites, of which gotmatrix.com is one. This entirely legal, clever and resourceful venture offers quick get-rich schemes, electronics items at unbelievably cheap prices, and the like. But of course, there is a catch, and a good one at that. You have to wait in a queue for every item. The queue policy is that for every N persons joining the queue for item x, the person at the head of the queue wins item x. For the next person to win x, N more have to join the queue, and so on.

The interesting part is to see how this system behaves. Its easy to see that the tail of the queue grows much faster than the head shrinks. In the limiting case, the queue size is unbounded. But what does this translate to in terms of average queue length, waiting times etc? While I won't go into a rigorous analysis, here's a simple scenario. One product on sale on gotmatrix.com is the 40 GB Apple iPod, for ONLY $115. For this product, N=7. So, for every 7 customers joining the queue, the person at the head of the queue gets an iPod, for $115. Now, 7 more people have to join for the next person to get his iPod, and so on.

When I checked, the queue was 500 persons long. So, if I joined now, I would get my iPod only after these 500 got theirs. But this would require that 500 * 7 = 3500 more customers join the queue after me. But when I checked, I saw that 20 new customers join the queue every month. At this rate, I would have to wait 3500 / 20 = 175 months = 175 / 12 = 16 years! Not exactly a breeze, this queue... Even doubling / tripling the joining rate doesn't help too much. Seems like I have to look elsewhere for my iPod.

2004-05-26T16:32:00.000-05:00

A photo that never fails to bring me down to earth... Its quintessential zen.

Utterly quotidian

2004-05-26T16:01:00.000-05:00

Yeah. Today's blog is full of hot-air. No substance. I just felt like typing a few random words, is all. Actually, I fiddled around with my blog's settings, and included a new tab on the side-bar, and added a couple of links of personal interest.

Current mood: Serene, but this serenity could be the calm before a storm.
Current music: Strauss's Blue Danube Waltz. Soothing...
Currently reading: Tarski's Introduction to Logic.

Birthday blues

2004-05-25T12:16:00.000-05:00

I have now been alive 23 full years. I just stepped into my 24th yesterday (May 24). It sometimes feels wierd -- the concept of birthday... rather, the way we observe this occasion. Growing up, I never `celebrated' my birthday, nor my brother's, nor my parents', as an occasion. They would wish me (or I would wish them) and be done with it. And we didn't expect anything more.

It took me a while to realize that for a lot of people I know, birthdays are a big affair. Moreover, they expect me to treat their birthdays as big affairs as well. I find this difficult. Birthdays are viewed as occasions for rejoicement, but I feel that they should, if anything, be occasions for reflection. However, as far back as I remember, when I look back at the past year, I count more shortcomings than acheivements. This deficit increases with age. I also think this is true with a majority of those who do care to look back.

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced there is no real reason to rejoice on anyone's birthday. Is there an occasion for Hope? Maybe... I can hope on a birthday that the rest of my life will not be as miserable as it has been until now. But rejoice... what for? The only thing I can think of is for having made it to this birthday alive.

All my morbid ideas have increased my desire to get wasted tonight. Now if there is one thing birthdays are an occasion for, it is getting wasted. Hell, yeah.

I also want to rant about why I HATE greeting with cards. It is probably the worst damned ritual civilization came up with. But that is for later...

Fitness Mania

2004-05-22T16:54:00.000-05:00

I had a good workout today. I ran about 3 miles (in a half hour). I know that's nothing, but for someone who's running after a while, it's good. Here in America, everyone works out. Yet, a lot of people are obese. I guess they should be thankful to themselves for working out. Everywhere I see, food products are either labeled `fat-free' or `no-fat' and the like. Then what would explain the obesity?

Anyway, working out is a Good Thing. It gives me a much needed break from my sedentary lifestyle.

Here goes nothing...

2004-05-20T22:14:00.000-05:00

This has to be one of the wierdest things ever... This new website (http://www.gmailswap.com/) offers help to people who are looking for a GMail account (As of now, GMail by Google is still in development, and trial accounts are being offered only to a select ``few'').

So, this website hints that `active' Bloggers can possibly get GMail accounts... I had not posted for a while, and so here goes...

I want a GMail account too. Its got 1G storage for goodness' sakes!

To My Friends.

2004-05-14T15:57:00.000-05:00

Yes, its me. I just crawled out of my shell. I begin to slowly look around at the world outside me... there are still a few things I recognize. I see my friends. They are glowering, for they are disappointed in me. I try to raise my hands to wave at them, but I am covered in so much cocoon mucus that my arms feel chained to the ground. I stand in the sun until some of it melts away from my body. I feel strong enough to walk a few steps.

My friends, take me back into your folds. You are all that bind me to this existence. To this otherwise pointless length in time. I was a fool this time, i have been a fool before, and i probably will be a fool again. But there are other times too. Times when I was not a fool. I ask you to recall those better times, and ``what could have been''.

Israel applauds Syria sanctions

2004-05-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

The Australian: Israel applauds Syria sanctions [May 12, 2004]

Truly, this is my moment of zen for today. Israel's audacity to even make such a statement, it boggles the mind. If there is a single nation state that has violated more U.N. sanctions than any other, if there's one country that has nuclear weapons in the Middle East, if there's one country with the most widespread state-support for terrorism in the name of `national security', yeah... that's Israel. And who gets slapped with sanctions? Syria.

Don't get me wrong. I am not exactly Syria's supporter. Its America's hypocrisy that I am unhappy with. Talking about hypocrisy, of which Uncle Sam has no shortage, I wonder... why doesn't the U.S. do anything about half the countries in Africa, which are ruled by tyrannical dictators? These oppressors are undertaking genocide and ethnic cleansing of a magnitude that would even put the Nazis to shame.

The wise man says to me "Son. Turn away from evil you can't deal with, and evil you don't have to deal with." If only Africa had as much oil as the Middle East... Better still, if the U.S. produced more oil than anyone else, probably a lot of wars wouldn't be fought.

Operation Enduring Freedom? Nah... more like Enduring exercise in self-defeat

2004-05-12T17:46:00.000-05:00

Yeah. That is what this whole Iraq enterprise is. An exercise in self-defeat. I came across multiple independent sources saying exactly the same thing about the US occupation in Iraq. "The US army is tactically winning, but strategically losing." How true. Yet, I feel sad for this country, that refuses to learn from past mistakes. I feel enraged about this administration that simply refuses to waver from its set course. Even when it becomes clear that the course is not viable. I am tired of this president who simply doesn't accept responsibility, and his chummies, who simply dismiss dissent, or launch disparaging attacks in an attempt to discredit said dissenting voice(s). Not even a plausible attempt at self-analysis... ahh, I can go on.

But there is one more thing I feel. It is fear. I know this might sound ridiculous, but what if the Feds come across my posting, and detain me for `inflaming passions' (although I doubt I really say anything of substance), or for being a threat to the nation's security? Some out there might say I haven't posted anything of enough magnitude to warrant such action. If that is so, its exactly because of my fear of persecution.

Who Da Man? Kobe's Da Man.

2004-05-12T00:55:00.000-05:00

Bryant Goes Court to Court (washingtonpost.com)

We are lucky to be living in the same time as Kobe Bryant. I have seen some pretty amazing players on the court, but just no one came close to Kobe and the superlative performance he put on display tonight against the Spurs. What makes it even more admirable is that he came to the basketball court after spending almost two days in a judicial court, pleading not guilty in his sexual assault case.

I know this is an illogical wish, but for the sake of basketball, I wish that Kobe is set free. I recently found myself looking up the jury on his trial. I was hoping that at least some on the jury are basketball lovers... I mean, if they saw tonight's game, they might change their minds.

Rock on, Kobe!

Memories of School

2004-05-11T15:47:00.000-05:00

Florence English School

I was recently reminiscing about my school days at my website. I thought I should mention that here.

American media, Iraq and the great Conservative conspiracy.

2004-05-11T13:56:00.000-05:00

The American media, for all its proclaimed freedom of expression, is more deferential to the government, than media in many other countries: countries which don't champion themselves "guardians of democarcy", but still give the press a greater amount of freedom than does the United States.

By no account is Dubya the greatest public speaker. But he left me thinking when he defended the war effort in Iraq some time ago. Refering to the difference in cultures, he said, "Its condescending to think that one fifths of the world doesn't believe in freedom and liberty". Now where did he get that from...?

I do believe that the President is driven to war ultimately by his idealism, and not by greed. But it is this very Conservative idealism that is flawed. Of course, it doesn't help that the hawks who `advise' him are not entirely guided by lofty motives such as freedom, liberty. Noam Chomsky writes that American foreign policy is inherently designed to dominate other nations, subdue opposition and exploit resources for selfish interests. Of course, this is partly true with any nation's foreign policy: self-betterment. But usually, it is acheived by more subtle means than the ones America has historically adopted.

Conservatives have been dreaming of a New World Order where America reigns supreme for quite some time now. The excellent newsmagazine Frontline reports that right wing think tank Project for a New American Century (PNAC) sent an audacious letter to Clinton. "No longer should the U.S. contain the Saddam Hussein regime.... if Saddam does acquire the capacity to deliver WMD, [among other things,] a significant portion of the world's oil supply will be put at hazard". Others like the RAND corporation were instrumental in getting the government to pump money into advanced research and development, mainly for weapons. The focus for most of these think tanks is to establish pax Americana, albeit with American military pre-eminence.

Hello, World!

2004-05-11T08:32:00.000-05:00

In true nerd style do I begin weblogging. I kept hearing about the popularity of weblogs, and quite frankly, I didn't know what the big deal was. But then, I felt there are issues out there on which I want to comment. There are events, situations from my own experience that can be shared. Thus, I turned to blogging.